Struggle for Intimacy (Adult Children of Alcoholics series)

If you are an ACoA (Adult Child of an Alcoholic), I recommed this book and all of the books by Janet Woititz. I've read many of them, they are easy reads and so informative. It is really helpful to learn about other's experiences and struggles, and to hear advice on how to help you now. My favorite part of this book is the chapter called "So, you love an ACoA..." and is good for your partner to read to help them understand things like why you might overreact to certain situations or have such a negative view of yourself. Don't be turned off by the old cover, mine looked like it was from 1960 or something, the book is not outdated by any means.

Woititz has written several books aimed at helping "Adult Children of Alcoholics" (ACA). I recommend all of them. This book is based on the problems ACAs (and others from troubled homes) have in beginning and maintaining close relationships. She gives practical advice rather than the usual "cuddle your inner problem child" blather that some books give. All of her books are based on 10-12 things that most ACAs have in common. These things are listed at the front of each book and I recommend that each reader start there. If this list strikes a chord with you, then get the book! Among the list are: ACAs wonder what normal is. ACAs lie when they could just as easily tell the truth (I didn't believe this of me until a friend pointed out a few). ACAs have a hard time changing their course even when it's obvious that they should (I'm paraphrasing this one). Check it out!

Before I read this book, I couldn't understand why I seemed to have such a horrendous time coping with being in a relationship. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, on constant guard for trouble that wasn't even there. I was a nervous wreck.This book helped me realize that the dysfunctional childhood I went through had taught me coping mechanisms that got me through childhood but were very ineffective now that I was an adult. Just realizing this was like suddenly seeing the forest for the trees, and was such a relief. No, you're not crazy...you have just never learned how to stop being on guard. If this sounds like you, read this book and find some relief. It will help you understand why you feel so torn when you know you have a good thing going, and help you learn new ways to cope before you wreck the best thing that ever happened to you. Good luck!

This book helped save our marriage of ten years and a relationship spanning twenty. Thanks to this book and the the Lord it will be for a lifetime. We keep extra copies around just for those times when you know who is suffering and in need of understanding.