Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America

No one who hasn't lived it can possibly totally understand the anguish of being born gay or lesbian and being raised in evangelical Christianity. To those who, like me, do not wish to merely abandon the church upon coming out, the struggle remains poignant, painful, and long. This is a great book both for those who have lived through it and for those who want to understand the issue. Social scientists almost universally believe that sexual orientation is immutable, and that efforts to change it are destructive. Sadly, a vocal part of the Christian community wishes to deny this fact and the struggle continues to victimize men, women, and families all over America. This is not the book that debates the construction of certain ostensibly anti-gay scriptural passages, etc. Rather, it tells one man's story. Perhaps that is the most important message of all, rather than merely fight about what the original Hebrew text really said about Sodom, etc.

Stranger at the Gate is an excellent read for those who are gay, and have a Christian upbringing. The first person narrative about how a gay man comes out of the closet, and how he reconciles the homophobic stance of the conservative, fundamentalist Christian church is eye-opening. Mel's struggle will have a familiar ring to the many many gay men and women, who have have to deal with homosexuality and a Christian curch that tells then that homosexuality is a sin. Mel uses personal realizations, as well as scholarly data to refute the current stance of the religious right. Many of the strugles that Mel went though, are the some one that countless gay men and women have gone thorough, are going through, and will go though. Many people can identify with Mel, and may even come to their own conclusion at the end of the book as Mel does. I highly reccomend this book for anyone strugling with reconciling homosexuality with Christianity.

Imagine that you are away in the country on a camping trip with a group of guys. You are all sitting around a campfire and telling stories. As you are galing stories about headless horsemen, ghosts, and etc, imagine that when one man shares, he tells you a story of triumph and tragedy, defeat and victory, over some things that he has had to come through. Imagine that he allows you, even for a moment, to see through his eyes right into his soul. That is what Dr. White does in his book "Stranger At The Gate: To Be Gay And Christian In America". He has shown his readers a picture...a moving picture of sights, sounds, scents, familiar feelings of childhood, awkward feelings of young adulthood, and the many other things that we keep hidden in our long-term memory bank. In reading this book, several chords were struck with me. I was very elated when Mel would talk about his years at WPC in Portland, OR, as well as his years at University Of Portland, as well as the broacasting projects that were local Portland favorites that gave Mel the start on his professional journey. I very easily identified with almost everything that Dr. White talked about here. Growing up in a fundamentalist environment, surrounded by people who's only focus in life was to get people "saved" and cared very little about accepting them for who, and what, they truly are. For the first time in my life, I was reading something where throughout almost the entire book I kept thinking to myself, "Finally! Someone else understands!" While going on this journey back in time with a heroic warrior, I felt as if we were discussing life issues over coffee at the nearest Starbucks. Mel is extremely personal in his writing and allows a metamorphosis to appear as evident to his readers...a metamorphosis between trying to live as his "ideal self" to loving, accepting, affirming, and living as his "true self". I would recommend this book to anyone who is trying to come to terms with their sexuality, as well as anyone who has a glbt friend or relative. It is a real eye opener and honestly it blessed me and encouraged me.

Mel White's story is similar to many I have heard about self-hate and hiding due to society's homophobia. What separates his apart from others is that he was raised in an evangelical Christian home and served as ghost writer to many of today's Religious Right leaders. His struggles and ultimate triumph to become a key force for truth and right in the fight for gay rights is wonderful to read. I greatly admire Mel, his work, and his spirit. I strongly recommend this book for any gay person struggling with his identity. For the record, I am a proud PFLAG dad.

I first became aware of this book via Philip Yancey's "What's So Amazing About Grace", in which he devotes a chapter to his friendship with Mel and the issues arising from that. Since several close Christian friends of mine have, over the last few years, revealed their homosexual orientation to me I have taken deep interest in the issue of homosexuality and also of the attitude of the church towards gay men and women. You can probably well believe me when I say that it has been almost impossible to find any CHristian viewpoint on the matter that does not take one of the two most extreme views - either that all aspects of homosexuality and homosexual behaviour should be accepted and that the classic Biblical texts have just been misinterpreted - or that every homosexual is an evil harbringer of doom to our depraved generation! Where has the objectivity gone?! Mel's story is by far the clearest and easiest to relate to of any that I have read from the "acceptance" side of the debate. I would strongly recommend that anyone with an honest desire to get to grips with the issue should read this book. It helped me to understand more fully the tremendous torment involved in growing up in a largely heterosexual world with a homosexual orientation - I identified with his struggles, since I have struggled with similar situations and issues in a heterosexual context. It is the first time that I have really been able to identify with and understand someone telling the story of their homosexuality. Even when speaking openly with my friends I found it difficult to understand their struggles properly.I would also recommend "Straight and Narrow?" by Thomas E. Schmidt for a compassionate look at homosexuality and evangelical Christianity from a more scholarly viewpoint - although he refers the stories of a number of friends and acquaintances, which helps keep it from being too detached.