Stop Your Driv Crazy

For years I have observed the characteristics of successful, long-term relationships. The one trait that seems to cut across all of these was the ability to tell a partner your feelings and desires, whether trivial or radical, in a clear and nonthreatening way.Despite the fact that I've been told professionally that I am an excellent communicator, this book helped me realize that in intimate relationships I still play the "crazymaking" game of confusing coded and conflicting messages.The book's examples showed how confusing coded and double messages exist in most relationships, why they are there, and what to do about them. It's especially relevant for couples in which one partner is passive-aggressive, though useful for nearly any couple who wants to improve their effectiveness at talking to one another.The only reason I didn't give this book 5 *s is because there are several places where the authors wander off into theoretical space that won't mean a lot to anyone without a psychology degree. If you skip over those parts to the next example, you'll find this book fast and easy reading.

This is the clearest description of how people (especially couples) get into the tangled web of resentments and withholds so common in a marriage and how to get out of the tangle. It is profusely sprinkled with examples of dialog, which not only makes the book easier to read, but makes the principles crystal clear.The first part of the book clarifies exactly what the problem is. The second part of the book spells out what you can do about it. I'm the author of the book, Self-Help Stuff That Works, and much of what I've learned that really matters about communication can be traced back to this book. It is a shame it is out of print, but if you can find a copy, buy it!

If you want to find out why you make the statement" he/she is driving me crazy", then read this book and you will have the understanding necessary to finally figure out what is really going on. It truly is an amazing book and gives you what you need to once and for all put a stop to some of the crazy-making going on in your relationship. A must reading for everyone, not just someone in a relationship. It helps you to understand why you do the things you do.

I have used this book several times in working with co-dependent people. It is the most succinct, usable guideline that a person can use when wanting to break free of the crazy making word manipulations of others. I don't know why every counselor would not want to be attuned to the message this book gives one. Then, I do not know why they would not pass it on. It is not unusual to say as each paragraph is read, "Yes, that is him, or her, all right!" It gives the reader the knowledge needed,in easily read concise steps,to break free from the convoluted conversations practiced by many people around us. Especially the people often the closest to us in relationships. Read it! Then be prepared for the feeling of fresh air coming into your relationships with others.

...then this is the book for you.People have a tendency to hide their true wants and feelings in order to be nice and get along better with others. When this is done in a close relationship, it can cause an extremely frustrating pattern that drives you both crazy. This book clearly illustrates how this communication pattern works, what it is, and what you can do about it. The book is full of examples. When you read them, you'll instantly recognize the situations, because we are all the victims of crazymaking throughout our lives. But when you learn what motivates the crazymaking tactics, you're in a much better position to find your way to sanity.