Solitude: A Return to the Self

I am often called upon to defend my decision my decision to lead a relatively non-social life. Good manners prevent me from answering that I generally have more fun by myself than at parties or dinner out or weekend trips to the country. How relieved was I then to find this book! Anthony Storr's Solitude renders eloquent arguments that a craving for solitude is not a pathology, but instead, for some people, is lifestyle. He pulls examples from history, limning a clear pattern from the lives of Kafka, Trollope, Wittgenstein, Henry James and others. Those interested in literary lives will certainly find new material in these profiles. It is true that the book explores the role of solitude in the lives of creative people: "It may be the case that, the less a person feels himself to be embedded in a family and social nexus, the more he feels that he has to make his mark in individual fashion." Any artist, undiscovered or famous, will find solace in these pages. However, anyone who finds herself quite happily content living life solo will also find good company in these pages. Ultimately, Storr concludes that the creative geniuses who lived lives of solitude have pushed up the bar of achievement for humankind. Most of us would agree after contemplating a world unenriched by Newton, Beethoven and Beatrix Potter (author of Peter Rabbit!). Storr's book also offers a condensed and imminently readable history of psychoanalysis, with Freud and Jung as the main characters. Storr, to my mind, shows the initial insights into motivation that Freud had, insights that can still hold water today. Storr is also quick to point out how that history of psychoanalysis lead to today's misguided (and frankly, offensive) maxim that if one is not in a relationship, one needs to be in therapy to deal with the issues about why not. No thanks, I'd rather be by myself.

The subtitle of "Solitude", by noted British Psychiatrist, Anthony Strorr is "A Return To The Self." It is about knowing the self - you. There are many great books about solitude - Merton, Thoreau, Emerson and Grumbach, but this well written book is not about just solitude; it is about the value of solitude. The most interesting thing is that Storr first sets the stage by discussing the importance of relationships.He starts with: "Love and friendship are of course, an important part of what makes life worthwhile." And then: "If we did not look to marriage as the principle source of happiness, fewer marriages would end in tears." and "If it is accepted that no relationship is ever ideal, it makes it easier to understand why men need other sources of fulfillment."And finally, "Two opposite drives operate throughout life: the drive for companionship, love, and everything else which brings us closer to our fellow men; and the drive toward being independent, separate, and autonomous." He implies that isolation is a psychological prison out side of society. Cults that isolate people are outside of the accepted mythology of humanity. If you cannot share your insights with your relationship or your community then you have experienced something other than solitude. Storr reminds us that solitude is at it's best when it is an individual excursion from a fulfilling relationship. Storr explains the need for the paradox of the comfort of companionship versus the solace of solitude.Solitude is not about an escape from life, but a re-entry into life with new insights from your time of solitude.Please be patient with his summary of psychological history, because it is the explanation for the need of solitude in our lives. This is the perfect book to read if you are starting your journey for the meaning of life. Your personal enlightenment, wherever it comes from, only has value when you share it with the place you came from. To embark upon Joseph Campbell's "Hero's Journey" start with this book.Bon Voyage.

Yes, Storr argues that solitude is not the indicator of insanity (impending or otherwise) that American culture often sees it to be. Yes, he includes often touching micro-biographies of some of the greatest artists of the near and distant past (and never without stooping so low as to 'show off' all he's read or listened to)---the biographical selections are so well-tuned to his thesis that it's obvious he's not grasping at straws, but drawing from a wealth of experience in the humanities....But the best thing about this book is the author's way of making argument and biography read like a prose poem. As important as his argument is, Storr's style and the pace of his presentation are gentle and very unpretentious. Instead of merely selling a ramshackle semblance of new age guru-spiel, as many of his peers have attempted to do, Storr pursues the wonder of our species, inviting us to go with him.This is as much a pleasurable read as it is an informative one!

I agree with Storr that contemporary Western culture can make peace and solitude difficult to attain. In this book he examines why this occurs. Storr's 'Solitude' makes a philosphical and psychological examination of the therapeutic value of isolation, its effect on imagination, creativity, self actualization and general well being. It also highlights implications of extreme forms and discusses the benefit in times of grief, loss and suffering.Storr illustrates his ideas with some rich examples and quotes from famed artists, writers, composers and other creative people regarding how their creative processes, works, temperaments and lives have been influenced by their solitude or by their lack thereof.While highlighting the creative utility and positive contributions of solitude on the 'self', this book in no way devalues the need for relationships. I like the idea that solitude is rather, part of a process which by making us more authentic, makes our relationships with others and our world more genuine and satisfying.