So Close, I Can Feel God's Breath: Experiencing His Nearness in Thin Places

Dr. Beverly Rose is a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist who held a prestigious and lucrative position in a New England nursing home when her body turned against itself. "What had begun as muscle pain and fatigue had developed into a full-blown assault, affecting many vital parts of my body," she writes. "I found myself bedridden, losing the battle to a progressive, often fatal neuromuscular disease. C.S. Lewis writes, `You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you.' Finding out who God really is was not just a matter of life and death for me --- it was all I had left." Her journey into a relationship with God is beautifully chronicled in this memoir. But the story doesn't start when she gets sick. It begins when Rose is still a young child as her devoutly Jewish mother's faith prepares Rose's heart and mind to accept Christ's love decades later. In some respects, So Close, I Can Feel God's Breath is a Girl Meets God for the over-35 set. Weaving together insight from leading Jewish rabbis and Talmudic tradition, Rose presents the rich Jewish context in which she learned about Jesus, despised Jesus and eventually grew to love Jesus. "Because of my Jewish mother's valiant efforts to teach me about encounters with God, I could experience God's breath in thin places all around me, and know that it was because I was made from his breath --- during a most amazing birth. For we are not only born from our mother's womb. We are also born of God's breath. It's because of who we are --- God's beloved children --- that we can draw near to our father in incredible places of thinness." This "thinness" that Rose talks about throughout the book is any place of struggle and pain. And since the onset of mitochondrial disease --- one that inhabits every cell in the body, silently damaging vital internal organs, the neuromuscular system and the digestive system while it inflicts continuous pain in every muscle --- Rose has known this thinness firsthand. She writes candidly about her physical and emotional pain, but is full of that uniquely Jewish levity and is quick to broaden her message of hope to encompass all those who have suffered. "Just as Jesus took the worst thing that could possibly happen (death on the cross) and turned it into a victory, so can we. Some may try to deny pain, but Christians know that suffering exists as proof of our fallen state. Suffering is a fact of life, but it can be redeemed and transcended." Transcending suffering is easier said than done, of course. And as one might suspect, it has more to do with one's heart and mind than, in the case of those with physical ailments, the body. But as Rose movingly writes, she is healed in moments. Completely healed --- soul and body. One of those moments was when she got up to address a large group. Her body, which had started to spasm moments before, quieted. Her legs strengthened. And she was able to stand.

I purchased this book for a friend suffering from a neuromuscular disease and decided to read it myself before sending it on. I expected a sweet, little inspirational book but discovered instead a beautifully written, highly anointed (and scripture-filled) account of a fellow Christian's journey through suffering to what she calls the "thin places". And for anyone, Christian or otherwise, who has ever felt like an outcast, Dr. Rose speaks with much tenderness and empathy. The stories of her Jewish upbringing and the wonderful quotes from Jewish scholars also give this book a completely unique style. Dr. Rose is utterly convincing in displaying God as a Father who will go to any lengths to reach out to his children. What a wonderful surprise that a book I intended for someone else has been such a blessing to me as well. The Spirit-led, anointed words of Dr. Beverly Rose gently moved off the page and into my heart and drew me into God's presence.

Starting with the premise of an approachable, inviting God, this book introduces its core concept of "thin places" as being perceptible but commonly overlooked places between heaven and earth. In the wisp of the wind, we can experience God's breath in thin places, surrounded by golden aspen leaves fluttering in the breeze. Yet as the author illustrates so palpably, thin places are not only all around us, but also within us. Like a passport containing colorful stamps of countries visited in succession, the working definition of thin places that guides this literary journey-and Dr. Rose's own spiritual development-expands with each new epiphany in a rich life story chronologically spanning this entire book. As a Christian work, this autobiography is not only a personal testimony of the author's walk with Jesus, but is also a full-bodied treatment of Judaism, into which Dr. Rose was born and raised. Moreover, the typical elements of loss and overcoming in this narrative of conversion and rebirth are particularly dramatic in the context of a life-changing neuromuscular disease, which this Harvard-trained clinical psychologist explores so insightfully. Well-informed Christian readers will appreciate the author's choice of classical and contemporary references of Christian and Jewish origin. However, the book's true power draws from the author's own perfectly chosen words. From one sitting to the next, Dr. Rose has managed to sustain her own steady stream of reflections, apparently writing only when divinely inspired-in a thin place. The result is a glorious blend of soothing lyricism and edgy suspense that smooths and energizes transitions from one spiritual watershed to the next. This personal Christian testimony is uniformly spontaneous and natural in its conversational tone. Its unvarnished truths are free of self-consciousness and aggrandizement. The ascent to rarefied heights amounts to euphoria without vertigo. It is a bold journey for anyone who seeks intimacy with a knowable God. Christians will find not only comfort and inspiration in this convert's testimony, but also broader insights into the religion of their upbringing. Readers, like the author, will not feel alone in this quest for thin places. From all doubt and fear they will be sheltered under a canopy of faith and love. They will come to appreciate the duality of our God-given breath-its fragility and steadfastness-and how it can sustain us even in our moments of deepest despair. Personally this book touched me as a Jew whose beloved sister converted to Christianity. Now more than ever, I realize that just as the Christian should not hate the Jew, the Jew need not fear the Christian. Joined together in a common heritage, we all can ascend the slopes to the thinnest of places.

As well as being delightful in the way it's written, with clarity,humor, and insight,with accurate and insightful theology and poignant authenticity, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT BOOK! It deals with issues of faith and suffering (as well as the whole spectrum of life) in a way that is neither formulaic nor evasive. It is startlingly honest and terrifyingly alluring. Terrifying perhaps, because you can't write the author off; she knows suffering-- it is her daily companion. More so, this woman knows Jesus and faces into some of the deepest questions of the faith, finding herself at the very holy "thin places" where Jesus is no more than a breath away. Don't think this only a good book for those living with pain and suffering or at hard points on the journey; dare you step in, you will find yourself longing for Jesus more deeply than healing, riches, or anything of this world. You will find yourself in a thin place. . .if you dare.