Smiling in Slow Motion: Journals, 1991-1994

Published journals by their very nature can be dull and opaque. If you're not familiar with the author's creative work and life it's easy to get lost in a forest of names and references which leaves you feeling bored and alienated. For this reason, journals generally dissaude you from reading them cover to cover though they may be quite illuminating when dipped into. That's not the case with this, the final volume of Jarman's journals. The way he writes is so direct and frank that it is utterly compelling. I didn't want to skip any of it. Jarman's uncompromising approach to art and life must have alienated a lot of people (on the margins as well as in the mainstream). Good! We need to be shaken up. Jarman shows his courage here but also his vulnerability. The journals are never mawkish or sentimental, but they left me greatly moved. Jarman continued to work on films, books and paintings while dealing with the daily burden of HIV-related illness and this book documents that process. It's also very much about the people who surrounded him and the things he liked to do, particularly in relation to his cottage and the unique and celebrated garden at Dungeness. Vale, Derek. I wish I could have told you how much I admire you.