Here and in his own words, Cowell spills the beans on his superstar chums, including Madonna, Cheryl Cole and Piers 'Magnificent' Morgan - and not forgetting, of course, his secret passion for Angelina Jolie.
Gunned down by a fan, Cowell wakes up in hospital to find he's got no money, no home and no mates. Worse still, his face looks like it's been through a blender; a tough blow indeed for the vainest man in Britain.
Cowell is on a quest for fame and fortune. But will he ever be able to win back his elusive Mojo - The Sex Factor?