Shyness: A Bold New Approach

This is the first book I've read on shyness and it's written very well. It seems that books like this are either written for an audience of Ph.D's who perform social research for a living, or for an audience with an 8th grade education. This book is neither - it delivers straight forward content in an articulate fashion that is both easy to grasp and enjoyable to read. I have tried several of the techniques described in the book and so far have had some pretty good luck. I'm very glad I picked this book as there were many to choose from and I basically just randomly selected one.

I'm not as bad as some of the people he talks about in the book, but I certainly found a lot of examples that hit pretty close to home. Some of what he talks about being common for shy people was suprizing to me, such as having a much harder time communicating in loud places like bars. I always thought it was just me. I also liked that he doesn't see shyness as a problem that needs to be fixed, but helps people who may struggle to become more successful with their shyness. I've always beat myself up about not being outgoing, and it was nice that he doesn't treat shyness like a personality flaw. I also found it refreshing to learn that shyness isn't like your eye color or something that can't be changed, but rather it's more like a learned pattern of behavior. The book gives you advice on how to help you cope with your shyness in different situations, such as joining an ongoing conversation, dating, etc.

Excellent book, I highly recommend it. Carducci really makes you realise that you are not alone, though most shy people feel very much separate from the rest of humanity, and that you can learn to be successfully shy. The book has lots of examples of people who are shy or have become less so. There are sections that may not apply, but that would be the case with any self-help book.

I studied five popular books on shyness in the past few months, and I like Carducci's because his approach is based on intimate, detailed knowledge of shy people, as well as on his involvement with a Shyness clinic. Other books approached shyness from the point of view of theory (e.g. cognitiv/behavioral or psychodynamic) and missed the many methods of managing shyness that come directly from knowing shy people well. Two things I found overwhelmingly strong: 1) he works from a strengths perspective, looking at shyness not as a deficit, but as a personality trait whose inhibiting effect can be greatly reduced with dedicated individual effort, and 2) he has a method which is clear, goes step-by-step without the need for professional guidance, and is extremely easy to follow. It does take work....but you can get to "the successfully shy life."

Carducci`s book on shyness opened up a new world for me, years of painful first encounters and the turmoil of being afraid. The inability I had to make the simplest amount of small talk kept me from making new friends and being more successful in my career. Those days are over, I now understand that there is a whole new world out there for me to discover and enjoy.I am no longer afraid. I will only hope others who are shy will find this book so, that their worlds may be alive like mine is now!