I don't understand Americans. Or, as we say in Scotland, I dinna understand ye eedjits. And I definitely dinna understand the crazy mother-in-law of my cousin Declan. Who in their right mind names a wee dog Chuffy? I'm stuck in New York after ma agent makes a bloody mess of an otherwise good endorsement contract for a sports towel company, and this crazy American holiday-Thanksgiving-is in two days. The invitation to spend...