Shacking Up: The Smart Girl's Guide to Living in Sin Without Getting Burned

My girlfriend and I decided to move in together a little while back and she asked me to read this book which she had recently purchased in anticipation of our decision. She said it would be a great conversation starter and a way for us to talk about things that we hadn't discussed before. I said "sure", and read it, and thought it was well worth my time. It is written by women, and for a woman's point of view, but I thought it applied equally as well to guys. From my point of view, the advice in the book was very good. I especially liked how real life examples were brought into play every time the author wanted to illustrate a specific point -sometimes for better, and sometimes for worse. I like how the author talked about the financial commitments of a move-in (which can be as important as the emotional commitment). Couples often have a hard time talking about money, like it sort of debases the relationship, or is a taboo subject. But I believe that if you love someone, you should want to protect them, and you would want to make sure that if anything ever happened to you (or your relationship) that you'd both want to emerge whole to start again. No you can't plan for disaster, but you can plan for what the author calls "a bonk on the head which changes your personality forever which then leads to a parting of ways". It makes sense. Does anyone ever intend to leave a relationship if they make the decision to cohabitate? I doubt it -but that's exactly the point. The book speaks about all the things you need to consider about timing, about commitment, and the views of your relatives. I would hope that no one ever broke up because they took a couple of months longer to rent a place together while they were sorting these issues out. Take a deep breath, read this book, and compare your experiences to those inside. If when you read it you feel closer to your partner, then great! But if you get a scrunchy feeling in your belly, then stop, take a step back, and wait a few more months while you talk through some of these issues. And finally, I wanted to share some of the notes that I jotted down while reading the book... "Be accountable for your feelings. A person isn't MAKING you feel sad, angry, or frustrated; you're ALLOWING yourself to feel these things. By taking responsibility for your actions and emotions, you'll give yourself the power to change the situation". "When faced with a stalemate, evaluate whether the issue is more important to your beau, or to you. If it means more to him, give in. If you, don't back down." "With problems, focus on solutions rather than the stuff that can't be changed." Sound advice, and highly recommended!

I bought this book after having the "talk" with my boyfriend of moving in together. I had always been the one wanting to move in and he was dragging his feet, but once we decided to start looking for a house I started to freak (not so sure anymore). This book was so helpful to put things into perspective. Not only does this book give great advice and recommendations for couples thinking of moving in together....but it also gives such great relationship advice. From how to communicate, how to live together, how to work through problems...etc. I think all young women should read this book before shaking up! It will give you great insight.

This book changed my life. I had been living with my boyfriend for years and feeling very unsure when I read this thought provoking book. The Shacking Up Chemistry Quiz on page 47 cut through the confusion and illuminated my situation. I knew I needed to move on as soon as I took the quiz. I only wish I had read this book earlier. I highly recommend this read for anyone who feels unsure about their live-in or potential live-in. Thank God for Stacy and Wynne! Without their book I might still be stuck in uncertainty.

This book really hit the nail on the head. I was a bit skeptical at first, seeing how it is mostly geared towards heterosexual relationships, but in reality, it doesn't matter who you choose to "shack up" with...regardless of your relationship the same steps should be taken to ensure that the "big move" is a successful one. We all know that no relationship is without its faults, but this book can definitely help keep the major upheavals to a minimum. At the very least it uncovers REAL LIFE issues that are bound to pop up in any relationship. I highly recommend this to anyone in a serious relationship...even those already living together!

I read the book on a New York / Phoenix business round trip. I am 26, and about to take the plunge with my boyfriend of ten months, the book was totally helpful. My biggest obstacles regarding this HUGE!!! decision, like telling my parents, were all really well addressed. The issues I've faced, or completely stressed about, in thinking about my upcoming move, were pretty well covered in the book. If moving in with a boyfriend is as big of a deal to others, as it has totally been for me, then I would definately suggest the book. It covered all my issues, and gave me a good guideline to be successful in what's been an exciting, and challenging decision. The book really helped me identify with a lot of the emotions I've been having, and has quickly helped me feel more confident about my decisions.