Sex Smart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do about It

Reviewed by Irene Watson for Reader Views (1/06) Much has been written about sexuality as well as theories have been formed about it. Most people seem to be curious about sexuality and want to explore the mysteries that are attached. However, not much has been revealed about the "why" certain behaviors occur until Dr. Aline Zoldbrod published her book "Sex Smart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to do About it." Zoldbrod explores the multidimensional nature of human sexuality by presenting information through a cognitive base as well as emphasizing skills in communication and self-awareness. She covers sexuality from biological, moral, psychological, and social perspectives with research, client experiences, and theory. According to Zoldbrod, what is considered as "normal" sexual behavior is typically based on observations made of family and society. She explains that how we are treated or what parameters are set upon us during our childhood reflects on sexual development. Touch, trust, feeling good about the body as well as oneself are just of the few dynamics that shape the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors. "Sex Smart" gives the reader the opportunity to analyze, reflect, and come to terms with their own sexuality and behaviors through explanation and reading vignettes about experiences of others. After each chapter the reader can do exercises and self-assessments to become aware of their own issues and development. "Sex Smart" also gives the opportunity to examine the factors and decisions one has made in the past, and find ways to explore and replace them with new healthy patterns by re-writing the scripts brought down through the generations. Although I highly recommend this book for every reader, it is necessary to note the importance of having a therapist at hand to discuss issues as they come during the reading and exercises of "Sex Smart." This is not a book to skim through in a day, nor is it a book to take lightly. It is a book that evokes much inner thought and exploration of behaviors and attitudes that have been framed within the identity of the reader.

For 15 years, I asked health care professionals, Why have I lost my interst in sex? Why do I love my husband as much as I do and yet increasingly fear intimacy with him? What's WRONG with ME?!! Until I read this book no one could give me the answers to questions I had given up asking. Dr. Zolbrod's one-on-one writing style and brief case studies helped me to see how much my parents attitude about their and my sexuality influenced me more the older I got and the longer I was married. The information within this book brought a level of understanding and new lines of communication my husband and I never had before. I have never been so grateful to find and read a book, and yes--this book changed my life.

Wow! was my first reaction when reading Aline Zoldbrod's SexSmart. I am a clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist always in search of good reading material for my clients. SexSmart is tops on my list. On rare occasions I find a book that speaks the truth, dramatically enhancing a reader's understanding of self. If you buy this book, you are about to have this experience. SexSmart isn't just another book on sexuality. SexSmart actually guides people through a personal understanding of who they are sexually - what a gift to readers wanting more for themselves and their sexuality. Readers can use this intensive exploration of how parental and social influences impact sexual expression to increase their current level of sexual satisfaction. It is in fact a book best read several times, as it is so full of great information. This is one of only a few books I keep available to my clients in the waiting room. I applaud Dr. Zoldbrod for a job well done!

Zoldbrod's *Sex Smart* Reviewed By Kathleen Logan Prince MSWAASECT Certified Sex TherapistFor the vast majority of the young--from six months to eighteen years--sexuality is like a huge, unexplored continent. Each of us KNOWS that this mysterious, exciting, scary world is ours, belongs to us. We know this from earliest times, when our own bodies--that do not lie--tell us, through powerful feelings and reactions, that there is a wonderfully rewarding world that is part of us. Inexplicably, our parents and important others, with their silence and shrouded denial, discourage us from exploration. The existence of sexuality is not exactly denied, it is treated as unlawful and we are reluctantly presented with the tip of the iceberg.The result of this almost universal attitude is that even manygrown-ups remain uninformed about one of the most influential forces in our lives.Dr. Aline P. Zoldbrod, an informed researcher and therapist in the world of sexuality, has written a marvelous guide to this unexplored world. She describes and explains all the various facts and practices of sexuality and turns this formerly dark continent into a healthy, known, and useful areas of life.Dr. Zoldbrod explores nearly every aspect of sexuality and furnishes questionnaires to help the reader get personally specific about his or her own experiences, to clarify and help understand and deal with them.She explores the spectrum of influences on sexual development from early, loving parenting to neglectful, abusive, and violent behavior. These descriptions are again equipped with detailed questions so the reader can relate to her and his own experience and make use of the suggestions about how to handle the associated feelings.A few chapter headings suggest the inclusiveness of the book: The Touch of Love, The Foundation of Trust, Feeling Good About Your Body, What You Learned About Gender, Feeling Good About Yourself, The Dynamics of Power, Becoming a Social Person, Masturbation and Fantasy, The Changes of Adolescence, The Effects of Physical Violence on Sexuality.This is a book you will read, and as you do, you will say to yourself, " I wish my parents had read this when I was young!"As a couples and sex therapist who sees, every day, the consequences of sexual ignorance, I highly recommend this book.Kathleen Logan-Prince MSWMarital and Sex TherapistWeston, Massachusetts

SexSmart is a gift to readers who have grown tired, bored and even annoyed by the many "how to" sex books on the market. Dr. Zoldbrod is one of the few professionals who explains where sexual problems begin rather than merely focusing on how to fix them. Sexual problems exist within the context of a relationship and a whole life -- they are not only about bodies and bedrooms. As a Sex and Marital Therapist I can tell you that it is one of the most popular books in my waiting room. Even better, men read it. SexSmart provides information in digestible doses with great graphics and simple exercises that highlight the material. It's a great job!