Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star

I had no idea anything about this man's life prior to finding the book on here. What an amazing story and a strong person. I found myself wanting to give him a hug several times.

I'd heard bits and pieces about a "marine porn star" for so many years it became almost an urban legend in the gay community, like our own version of the Loch Ness Monster-- meaning something you'd never really see, but one you'd like to sleep with on the off chance that it's true. As a New Yorker in late 1998, I recall reading the infamous New York Times Magazine cover story about gay Marines and feeling the pressure they described when talking about how they had to hide a huge portion of their beings from everyone they worked with, every day, or risk dishonorable discharge. That was as far as I was able to connect the dots until the release of "Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star" this summer. Still, reading the reviews gave me a vague impression of just what I was in for when I first cracked open the book. I expected a sex-filled mea culpa from some porno actor who decided to join the Marines as a last resort after his career faded. I'm pleased to tell you I was horribly off-base in this assumption. Rich Merritt was the perfect gay man to enter the Marine Corps. He was obedient to a fault, smart, a proven leader, and, although his sexual urges were repressed, he craved validation and the admiration of men. His background as a mom-pleasing Bob Jones Academy, Bob Jones High School and Bob Jones University student provided the Corps with an ideal template from which to begin molding Merritt into one of the few and the proud, to which Merritt eagerly submitted. Do not categorize Rich as a porno actor. He credits the Orange County Gay Men's Chorus in the acknowledgements, which was my first indication that there was more to Rich than buff stuff. One reads his story, sees his earlier photos, and wonders how in heck he ever thought he should do porn in the first place. His high school yearbook photos show the slightly doughy, slightly smug look of, say, the Band President, which he was. You can feel his sense of validation increase as the story continues, with Merritt successfully completing all the rigorous (and I mean RIGOROUS) training and lifestyle required of serving in the Marines. One by one, his inhibitions fall to the ground. Merritt, now having proven himself to be a cute, hearty, spark-plug of a guy, is the quintessential corn-fed innocent let loose in the world. He takes up swearing, smoking, drinking and dancing in short order. Soon he's even popping women. Only occasionally does he recognize his attraction to other men might be more than ideological, and, thank the lord, the man finally has his first gay sexual experience. Needless to say, it's pretty explosive. Sadly, he doesn't have another one for a year, so you've got to give him credit for making the most of his time. Rich becomes very successful in the Marines, earning the title of Captain. (He's very adept at explaining the ironclad, unspoken rules of rank in the Military, which makes you appreciate his ascent even more.) Around this same time, Rich began t

I imagine that "Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star," by Rich Merritt, will either titillate or repulse potential readers with its sensationalistic title and cover design. I found the book to be a fascinating, illuminating, well-written, and surprisingly sober account of a most remarkable life journey. Merritt describes how he came from a fundamentalist Christian background, served in the United States Marine Corps, came to grips with his identity as a gay man, appeared in gay pornographic films, and descended into a nightmare of sexual promiscuity and illegal drug use. Merritt offers windows into a variety of communities and subcultures. Particularly interesting is Merritt's account of his attendance at Bob Jones Elementary School, Bob Jones Academy, and Bob Jones University--all bastions of extreme Christian fundamentalism. The author's account of his journey through the gay porn industry gives an interesting view of some of the personalities and practical issues involved in the business. Also noteworthy is his account of his time at law school and the beginning of his post-Marine Corps legal career. But it is Merritt's often gripping account of life as a closeted gay Marine that I found to be the most impactful aspect of this memoir. Merritt's USMC career spans from the mid-1980s to the latter 1990s, a time of significant challenge and change for America's military forces. Merritt gives insight into the realities of gay Marine life before and after codification of the controversial "don't ask, don't tell" policy. He writes about gay Marines' paranoia and survival tactics, as well as the presence of an underground gay military network. Merritt's career includes shipboard service in the Persian Gulf, command time, and a tour as a Marine general's aide; particularly interesting is his colorful portrait of the general for whom he worked. His account of his efforts to challenge the military's policy on gays through the media is also worthy of note. Supplementing the text are numerous photographs covering the author's time at the Bob Jones schools, in the Marine Corps, in the gay porn business, and after leaving military service. Merritt's Bob Jones background and connections are persistent presences throughout the memoir. Overall, I found the book to be a consistently interesting account of bouncing back and forth between cultural extremes. It's also a story about the universal experiences of searching for love, happiness, belonging, and a sense of identity. Merritt's story raises interesting questions about the media's role in the gays-in-the-military issue, and about the search for gay military role models and icons. Overall, this is a compelling Marine memoir and, in particular, a serious addition to the growing body of books dealing with the gays-in-the-military issue.

SECRETS OF A GAY MARINE PORN STAR by Rich Merritt is luridly fascinating. I normally don't care for memoirs; they tend to be maudlin and self-serving. This book however, is not. It is an interesting look into a very complicated and dynamic life. Mr. Merritt provides the reader with several glimpses into aspects of life or lives many of us do not know, and in so doing, weaves a wonderful story about himself. The book reads very much like a novel and that is why, I believe, it is so engaging for the reader. He permits non-fundamentalists to see the bizarre thinking of the Bob Jones's of the world and the impact that fallacious teaching has on its unwitting victims. His commentary on the Marine Corps, and I would assume, military in general, are insightful and at times very disturbing. It is frightening to think that in this time of terrorism and need for men and women in the military, the Defense Department, and in fact the entire U.S. government is so rabid in its pursuit and expulsion of gay members of the Armed Services. It is interesting to note that the U.S. is way behind on the learning curve regarding that issue. One need only look north to the Canadians to get a more realistic and honest view of what position a government should take regarding gay military service. I was particularly intrigued by his venture into the gay porn industry. Granted it is a somewhat murky industry, but the industry does provide a product that is in high demand, among heterosexuals and gays alike. Since the participants are consenting adults, and since the product must be sought out by the consumer, the idea that there should be a stigma attached to performers in porn is ludicrous. The fact that THE ADVOCATE so aggressively negatively commented on Mr. Merritt's porn past is without a doubt the height of hypocrisy. Gay porn is a BIG INDUSTRY, THE ADVOCATE ADVERTISES GAY PORN CONTENT, and the idea that a gay based publication should take such an outrageous position against Mr. Merritt's actions bespeaks the true mission of THE ADVOCATE....sell, sell, sell, and don't worry about the impact upon the gay community as a whole. Mr. Merritt also looks at the dangers involved in the gay world brought on by drug abuse. It is frightening that there is so little attention paid to the issue of drug abuse in the community. Young gays need positive role models to grow up as contributing and judicious members of society. I don't want to get onto a soap-box, but I found Mr. Merritt's description of his drug addiction a WONDERFUL LEARNING TOOL. He accurately discusses the potentials of drug abuse, and the rampant nature of it within the gay community-at-large, as well as the dangers associated with the practice. I applaud him for his courage and determination. This is a truly fascinating book, and I would encourage all who are inclined to read memoirs to pick up this book and read it with an open mind. The bottom line of this book, and perhaps life itself,

One thing that tends to bother me is when a person puts their sexual exploits on display for the world to read. However, when I read about this story of a good Christian boy from Bob Jones University, my attention was aroused. With my interest standing at attention, I sprung into this book devouring my way through most of the pages in one sitting. While I may not subscribe to the lifestyle depicted in the book, I can identify with the paranoia and isolation that the author dealt with having been excomunicated from various organizations myself. Though I have no plan to be an adult video star, I can imagine this is a liberating experience. It is a statement. You are telling the world who you really are. You are showing your soul among other things. As a Christian I can truly identify with Rich Merritt.

While reading this book, I was surprised to find so many similiarities between myself and the author. They are far too numerous to list, but our common experiences were stunning. Later, I realized what was even more amazing. This Marine's story, like mine, is not unusual at all. (Granted, there are extremes in Capt Merritt's story.) But the loneliness, isolation, depression, fear, paranoia, and emotional highs and lows are truly common for gay Marines. What Rich Merritt has done in this book is capture the experience of serving in the shadows while walking on the skyline. I, for one, am indebted to him for helping me find the words to explain to so many just what I have gone through. Friends and family will be receiving this book from me, with personal notes that will help explain how his experiences mirrored many of mine. Thank you, Capt. Merritt. Semper Fi.