Secret Ceremonies

"The mind is a dark genius - it can rationalize anything." -- Denis Waitley The book "Secret Ceremonies" makes for a fascinating case study - and not just the one that the author was aiming for. Ms. Laake didn't know that her mental illness would return or that she was developing breast cancer and that she would eventually take her own life (February 6, 2000) when she was putting the finishing touches on this book back in the early 1990's. No, it's not in the book but that's how her story ends. But to fully understand the end one must rewind the tape and view the beginning and middle of the story - and that's where this one gets really interesting because there's a "take away" for everyone in this book. To this listener (I listened to the audiobook) the overarching, recurring theme in Ms. Laake's story is denial. This is hardly surprising since in order to survive in a cult one must remain in a constant state of denial. Specifically, one must deny your core values, beliefs, feelings and perception in favor of the new reality provided by the binding system. The psychological term for this is "snapping". The refusal (or reluctance) to "snap" will not enable you to fully participate in, let alone succeed in the group. Based on the mountain of testimonies from ex-Mormons it's clear that this "double bind snap" is the order of the day in the LDS Church. (For a full dissertation on this read "The Pattern of The Double-Bind in Mormonism" by Marion Stricker) Never-the-less, it's fascinating to see how denial was so internalized that it dominated Ms. Laake's thinking long after she was out of the church. As Terry Greene Sterling, a former colleague at the Phoenix Times put it, "Laake liked to think of herself as a brutally honest journalist, and she was, except when she wrote about herself." she goes on to explain, " . . . shortly after her suicide, I realized she had blamed Mormonism and the men in her life for her mental illness, for the terrible dark spells that followed the giddy manic highs." And there lays the platinum "take away" of this intriguing book - how Deborah Laake systematically denies any responsibility for her behavior and the damaged life that resulted from it. For example, Terry Greene Sterling goes on to document how, "She wept that Mormon leaders would not allow her to eulogize her mother during an upcoming church funeral, wouldn't even let her sit in the front of the church with the family. Of course, she should have expected such a reaction after ripping into the Mormon church in 'Secret Ceremonies,' but she couldn't recognize the ugly logic . . . " Another example is how she was so expert at choosing romantic pursuits that were dysfunctional to point of being destructive. The data provided in the book would indicate that she had a pattern of impulsively first romanticizing and later villanizing the men in her life. Her courtships are counted here in months as are her marriages and affairs. Yet Ms. Laake never seems

If any Mormon tries to deny what Deborah Laake wrote about that goes on in the Mormon church, than they are LYING. Any person who has been through the temple and been a Mormon can tell you the exact same thing. Yes, the Mormon church used to require its patrons to take blood oaths by demonstrating their throats being slit, their hearts being cut out, and their bowels being spilled from their guts. I have to admit I was one of those devout Mormons who very quickly denied it if anyone revealed anything about the church - even if it was completely true! I like most Mormons felt the need to defend the church, and I like most Mormons was deeply embarrassed when someone would ask me about the secret temple ceremonies. And even though I no longer deny it, I know I should not get mad at those who do lie and deny it because I used to do it myself. I understand the position they are in. I know it's hard on the Mormon church when someone writes a book like this because it messes up their public relations plans to make Mormonism look like just any Christian religion. That is a relatively new strategy that the Mormon church is taking because when I was young it was quite different. The Mormon church used to pride itself on being different than the "so-called Christians" (as BYU religion professor George Pace used to call them almost daily to us students). Ever since the invention of the internet, all the the weird and disturbing history, doctrines, and practices were being exposed and were causing the church to stop growing so rapidly. I have done about two years of research, and all I can say is it shows how amazing human beings are that anyone can believe in this religion. How smug of a narcisstic man Joseph Smith would be if he saw the success his scams, treasure digging, and other disgusting practices have created. I think the thing that amazed me the most though is how very few Mormons even believe in the religion anymore. I went to a very small dominantly Mormon high school and I was recently very pleased to learn that I am far from alone. Indeed, less than half of Mormon "members" even believe in the religion anymore. Deborah Laake is (or was) a great writer. I couldn't put the book down. She was brutally honest and even exposed herself far more than most people would be willing. May she rest in peace knowing she was braver than most people would ever be.

as with any other book that sheds an unfavorable light on the mormon church, you get a flock of the faithful coming to defend the faith and throwing out low ratings when they have never read the book. Check out other books for yourself. And you can see the mean-spiritedness of these "saints" in the way they write. They also make many accusations about exmormons being bitter. Well of course they're angry and sometimes bitter. Wouldn't you be also if you were raised in a cult that degrades women and controls every aspect of your life...then you wake up someday and realize that you've been lied to and manipulated and given 10% of your earnings to a "religion" founded by men, ruled by men, and having little to do with God or any real spirituality?

I really enjoyed this book. I am not Mormon, but live in a Mormon dominated community and this book enlightened me and opened my eyes to their culture. It helped to answer questions and rumors that I have heard about Mormons and it also helped me to understand them more. If you would like to know more about Mormon life and culture, read this book.

I read this book in one day. It is a very fast read and quite entertaining. Many of the reviews have been critical of her, saying if you want to find the truth about Mormons you shouldn't read this book. Apparently, they do not realize that that is not what this book is all about. This little book is a freshly honest look at one person's life within her religion. The stories are frightening, uplifting, and very fascinating. The only thing I didn't like, is that a lot of it is about sex. You get tired of that after a while. But overall, this is a great book. If you are a Mormon yourself, I would definitely recommend it (so long as you are prepared for someone to be bold with you.) And for former Mormons, this book is really good because she articulates many of the things we feel. As for thoes investigating Mormonism, this is a good book as far as the sociological and psychological aspects are concerned. For a more complete documentation on the actual doctrines of Mormons, I recommend just doing a little internet research, since it's free and easy to do. But do them both, for heaven's sake! This is a book not to be missed.