Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self Esteem, and the Confidence Gap

It's heartbreaking to read this book and realise that things haven't much changed in the decade since it's been published, and how too many young women in America act, think, and believe, not because it's their integral nature but rather because they've been pushed to it by messages from the media, Hollywood, teachers, parents, male classmates. The girls Ms. Orenstein interviewed are all around my age (I was also in seventh grade during the 1992-93 schoolyear), so it was easy to relate to them and what they were going through, what things were like when they were in junior high and sixth grade. The girls at Weston, the largely white school, had problems with teachers calling on boys who hogged and demanded attention, to the exclusion of girls in the class, body image, sexual harassment, teachers who had a double standard when it came to boys and girls (boys who call out answers before being called on or who loudly whine to be called on are rewarded with attention, while girls are ridiculed if they have a wrong answer or not called on at all; there was also the teacher who called a boy disruptive, with a friendly laugh, while making the same remark to a female student in a very cold negative disparaging voice), parents who reinforce this double standard, the sexual double standard, and messages that you have to fit in and be perfect. These girls even pretended to be afraid of spiders so that boys would think they were feminine and desirable as girlfriends, not pariahs who wouldn't run screaming from a spider but instead act like a boy and ask to hold it because it looks so neat. It's sad to read that in this day and age many young women think that a woman isn't allowed to be assertive, pushy, or aggressive, or that a girl can't be a lawyer because she's too "cute." The girls at Audobon, the mostly urban minority school, also had those problems, but they were submerged by more pressing problems of poverty, gangs, street violence, drugs, falling-apart families, crime, and teachers who were past the point of caring or treating students with respect. The book wraps up with a look into a gender-fair class back at Weston, where the tables are turned and both sexes learn about women and other minorities, where boys sometimes have to make speeches from the pov of famous women, the type of class there would be everywhere if women were the gender that had traditionally held power in America. Apparently some people didn't like this book because it brings to light what goes on at many schools, how boys treat girls and misuse power, how they get away with a lot of bad things. It's the same reason why a lot of the boys in the gender-fair classroom initially didn't like the class, because they felt excluded and discriminated against. It must hurt them to have their traditional position of male authority challenged and exposed for what it really is. These boys had no problem with being in classrooms that taught mostly about famous men, yet when they had

To read Peggy Orenstein's SchoolGirls is to take a journey into a world 1) that any man with a conscience is ashamed to remember ( because of the way boys treated girls ) and 2) that for high school girls and women to remember, is to recall the pain of being punished, physically abused, humiliated and emotionally beaten down for simply being born female. But before going into the book in depth, one important point must be made: While Orenstein's portrayal of girls and boys is accurate, it should not be taken as a message that all middle school girls are good but get shortchanged, or that all boys engage in destructive behavior when it comes to girls. There are wonderful adolescent boys and nightmarish middle school girls. And some girls do have a very positive experience. Unfortunately, Orenstein's portrayal is the norm and it is accurate. What Orenstein did was to go into two vastly different schools, one in a solidly white middle class community and the other located in an urban black and Hispanic neighborhood. Both schools were located in Northern California. She observed and interviewed the girls ( as she gained their trust ) for an academic school year to see what they were experiencing with regard to their academic, home and social lives. Although the cultural environments were vastly different, the dynamics of both groups' experiences turned out to be strikingly similar in many respects. I remember all too well what went on in junior high school in the 60s. I was not aware that while the same basic social structures exist today, the pressures and dangers are much greater than they were 30 years ago: Sixth grade boys pressuring their pubescent female peers into intercourse and the girls feeling trapped between fear of rejection and being labeled a slut; boys who treat girls' bodies like it is public property to be pinched pulled and fondled in public; boys' totally dominating the classroom to the point where girls give up, lose interest and start failing classes that they could easily have gotten As in; constantly bombarding girls with the thought that they are bad at sports. But even more incredible are the administrators who can effect change. Teachers and counselors work hard to enforce newly created sexual harassment laws only to have the administrators nix the effort out of laziness or personal sexist beliefs -- " If he grabbed you like that you must have asked for it . " This is not a fun exciting read. But as someone who coaches teenage girls in basketball and is very dedicated to changing their lives for the better, I feel that this book ( although at times depressing ) has helped me to understand, better than ever before, what it is like to be a teenage female at the turn of the millennium. Don't read this book if you are searching for justification for adolescent boys. But by all means, do read this book if you really want to know how middle school girls are abused and shortchanged i

I've read SchoolGirls several times and bought countless copies for friends. It's a fantastic read, one that in moments had me trembling, recalling some of my own experiences and feelings during those middle school years. I applaud Orenstein for undertaking a large-scale piece of writing and reporting. I disagree entirely with those who are calling for more on boys: good books are by necessity specific.Because there's been a recent spate of books oriented toward boys' experiences at the same age, it seems both cheap and easy for new readers of SchoolGirls to question why boys aren't covered more thoroughly here. The book was written in response to a study whose results revealed startling statistics about girls. As a 32-year-old woman and a young mother, I find Orenstein's reporting and synthesis among the most powerful and helpful of tools given to me. I recommend this book heartily to those concerned about children of both genders.

This book is well-written and important for parents and teachers. Orenstein focus on girls at 2 middle schools. She does not attempt to claim that their experience speaks for all American schoolgirls, but rather to illuminate SOME of the problems that they face and to point out that there is much evidence to suggest that many other girls may face similiar obstacles in school. Orenstein does discuss and describe at length some pretty awful behavior on the part of schoolBOYS towards schoolgirls. In describing this behavior, she does not put forth the idea that school is easier for boys or that they are villians to the core. She is simply describing the behavior of specific boys at specific schools. Having been a schoolgirl myself, I can attest to the veracity of her report. School is not easy for any child. But it would be ridiculous to ignore some of the specific ways that boys treat girls just because we are afraid of maligning boys. If the shoe fits... Also, there are plenty of books out there that address the problems boys face in school. Two good ones are LOST BOYS and REAL BOYS. And I don't see reviews of those books that accuse them of "leaving out" girls! Why are we so adverse to talking about what is really happening to our girls in school?

Very easy to read. Well-written. Disturbing. If you have kids in school, or if you work with kids, the book is all the more important. Sheds light on topics that are rarely given the light of day: how girls are essentially shortchanged in many ways in our school system. Getting information like this is the beginning of change. The issues in this book affect all of us. Buy it. Read it. Share it. A very, very important topic, and a book that does it justice.