Say Yes to No: Using the Power of No to Create the Best in Life, Work, and Love

Greg Cootsona is an engaging story teller. This is particularly important, in an odd way, because of the nature of this story. Those that would perhaps benefit the most from reading Dr. Cootsona's book are almost certainly those who are the least likely to pick it up or follow a friend's recommendation. But his story is immediately arresting, very straight-from-the-shoulder, and personal. There is no pretense; just a clear reflection about how easy it has become in this age and culture to paint yourself into a corner. In former playground times, a favorite "game" was dogpile on...well, whoever the group mind didn't like that day. Greg talks us through how we no longer need help from others because we do a better job of burying ourselves in committments and busyness than any group could do for us. Through difficult and painful personal experience, he describes a tunnel that is all too familiar to many of us. But he hasn't forgotten the light! More comprehensive in many respects than a mere discussion of borders, boundaries, or margin in our lives, Dr. Cootsona describes what our lives and culture have made of us and then critcally examines the "way out" through reclaiming the truly important elements of existence. Whether it is marriage, work, family, friends, relationships, the Sabbath, or Jesus, he speaks with clarity and frankness into some blurred areas of American life. As for friends and relationships - the beacons guiding several generations working their way through life on this continent - he says this: "We are made for relationships. We are not even really ourselves unless we have friends and unless we serve others. The potency of friendship - a value, I feel, too few Americans know - is a gift that depends on saying yes to no. Say no to lonliness and selfishness and find the power of friendship." Dr. Cootsona's book is a self-reflective page-turner that would benefit most those who have the least time to read it. Take the time! Pat Lynch

I teach "academic" philosophy which means that smugness toward "self help" books is virtually part of my job description. But Cootsona, being both a jazz drummer and a reader of Plato and Aristotle, breaks such stereotypes. He obviously understands the Greek notion of virtue as the only path to lasting happiness. But creating an excellent life requires "practical wisdom" (not more rules!). It requires, says Cootsona, the skills of a jazz musicians. You must know what's going on around you; you must master your instrument; you must listen to others; and then--improvise!

I just finished Say Yes to No. I dove into the introduction, gaining instant insight into the author, feeling friendship from this pastor, author and theologian. It was more like a conversation than a read. I felt that the author opened himself up so that together we could try to feel the rhythms of life. My time with the book was more like a conversation than a read. I was taking a Sabbath of sorts in Carmel California. Through the book, I found myself paying attention to the spaces more that the substance. Those spaces were filled with pleasure. Dr. Cootsona also weaves just the right amount of how faith enters into our decisions in life. We certainly should not say no the Lord, but we sure do! The last chapter of Say Yes to No does a good job of explaining what is meant by saying yes to the Lord. I thank the author for his many years of hard work to allow me to begin to understand that we can synchronize our lives with the rhythms of Gods' creations. Whether it be interactions with our families, our businesses, our faith or simply feeling our personal purpose, we need insight on the intangible. I look forward to a conversation with others on how the book may have guided and directed individual lives. An extra bonus, I am listening to jazz more often so I can enjoy the improvisations and apply them to my life.

Greg Cootsona (http://www.gregcootsona.com) is not only Pastor of Adult Discipleship at Bidwell Presbyterian Church in Chico, CA; he's also a drummer and jazz aficionado. "Jazz improvisation," he writes, "illustrates some keys to a successful life. First of all, say no to chaos: By mastering your instrument and knowing the changes. Say no to overplanning: Life is not fixed. You cannot predict every detail. Relax, stay loose, and take in what life gives. Finally, say yes to improvising a life of spontaneity, creativity, and beauty." One's highest calling is to say yes to God. That means removing the obstacles, such as submersion in technology or work, that hinder our flourishing. You'll find no better guide than "Say Yes To No: Using the Power of NO to Create the Best in Life, Work, and Love." The book is addressed especially to those who may not have a religious identification but who are spiritually open. It's for those caught up in the quest for wealth, fame, position but who long for a life of integrity. As a young pastor at Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church in New York City, the pressure of work and a series of family challenges began to affect his health. The chest pains, "a racing heart and shortness of breath, my head spinning with unfinished tasks at home and at work," led him, at age 38, into a doctor's care. That was in March 2001. Not many months later the church became a haven in the aftermath of 9/11. He realized the higher priorities in life required a series of nos to lesser ones. Saying no, with grace and conviction, doesn't make one a negative person, but one who has the freedom to be "on the right road." That road includes Sabbath, the goal of which "is not idleness but a proper rhythm of work and rest." It's about finding the greatest yes of all. "In Jesus," Cootsona writes, "I found the big yes to God. And that great yes now defines all my nos." "Say Yes To No" is a practical companion to a vibrant, jazz improvisational life. Copyright 2009 Chico Enterprise-Record

I read this book on a plane - ironically while multi-tasking which pointed out that I really needed to hear the message it contained. Greg uses the right amount of humor, philosophy, history, theology - all wrapped in spirituality which makes this easy read a very effective one. There are a few easy take-aways that should help me going forward.