Same Difference

Though this book does have it's flaws, it sparked my interest in the meaning of gender. At first I checked out this book from the library after having a hard time trying to figure out what men want. Those books were telling me to act "feminine" to act in ways that I did not particularly think the sort of man that I wanted would desire in the first place. Reading this book helped me learn of gender and that even if we have physical differences, we are still all humans no matter what society labels us to do. I now look at people as individuals regardless of sex, gender, sexual orientation, and other labels. And this book was the start of my new viewpoint.

Essentially a critical overview of gender ideas in current Western culture, the authors provide a comprehensive argument that the differences between genders are largely cultural constructions. A variety of sources are cited, from scientific research to influential popular media. Having just read the entire book, I am surprised that reviewers are criticising the authors so harshly for providing a very occasional anecdote along with all the other viewpoints represented in the book. The vast majority of this work is citation, critique and synthesis, and to provide very sparse anecdotal content in a book about how people define personal experience is hardly a great fault, if indeed a fault at all. The book could have done without this very sparse anecdotal content, and may rightly be considered more scholarly for the lack of it, but omission of all such contect would have perhaps left the book one or two pages shorter than it's current length of two hundred fifty four pages (discounting the 23 pages of source notes in the rear of the book). The vast majority of this work consists of cited research and solid logical criticism of that research. Essentially it is a very informative book, and the basic point and conclusion of this book is well-supported by the arguments made and by the variety and quality of sources that inform these arguments. Comparison of this work to other work on gender is very favorable in terms of the variety of information adressed, and the soundness of it's critiques. I would recommend this work to anyone I know as an informative and interesting read that may lead to a greater understanding of gender and the social elements of it's construction.

This book was a breath of fresh air for me, as I will bet it has been for many others - both male and female. I must respectfully disagree with those who would say that the authors of this book are trying to minimize the differences between men and women. They agree that there are, indeed, differences. But the point they make - and I feel eloquently - is that the differences are not as sharply drawn as we think and they do not need to hamper communication between the genders and/or limit what life choices either gender "must" make. Before I go on, let me state that I am a feminine acting woman. I have a lot of interests that fit the image people have of women "should" be like. I'm a certified bilingual elementary school teacher, I teach piano lessons, I love children and pets. I even knit teddy bears. However, as I now look over this list, I realize that my interests are not just limited to the female of the species. Perhaps more men will choose certain careers and more women will choose others; it could very well be. Perhaps we will always have more female kindergarten teachers than male and more male engineers than female. Maybe more women than men will knit and crochet and more men will tinker with engines and motors in general and automobiles in particular. But steering either men or women away from certain careers because of gender can be damaging to an individual. Somewhere we need to understand that each person is an individual and that trying to stuff people into arbitrary categories hurts individuals and the possible contribution they can make to society. Perhaps the difference in physical size and strength (a very real one) could account for more men going into certain professions and more women going into others. But there are others such as engineering into which more women are entering. I had an enlightening talk with an older female friend who was a math teacher who said that when she was a young woman studying math she could not go into engineering because she, being a woman, was not permitted to go out into the field. The authors of this book tell about a school counselor who guided girls away from studying math - and I could bet that there are many examples of this. I feel strongly about this because I was, at one time, struggling with it myself. For many years I thought that I as a female could never be logical. Consequently, I didn't study the wonderful subject of logic. When I finally did, I was surprised to find out that I did quite well. In fact, my logic professor (a man) told me that in his classes, women actually outperformed men! While this was just his classes and didn't include statistics from other logic classes, it was certainly food for thought. The same thing held true for mathematics. I often had trouble in algebra (a trait I've since found out that I have in common with a lot of men, including author C. S. Lewis) but later on I found out that with extra study, conferring with people wh

I am reading Same Difference much to the dismay of my husband. It is a wonderful book that eloquently relates what I have been feeling for years - ever since my mother and father got me a copy of John Grey's Mars and Venus book for a wedding gift. My husband, of course, loves this book as it puts him in a position of power in our relationship. I hated it from the first page. Same Difference, however, makes much more sense to me. I don't have "natural" mothering instincts and caring for others does not come easily. Now I realize that I am not a failure as a woman, nor am I a "manly" woman. Honestly, I cannot tell you how fascinating this book is and what an impact it is having on my life at this very moment. I am going to send a copy to my sister and my best friend, both recently married, so that they will know they do not have to settle into traditional power structures and live unhappily. And perhaps I will send my mother a copy as well - though it may be too late for her!

It's about time someone took on the sexist rubbish which now is killing our society.I for years have been furious at the writers who insult men and women by placing us in conflict, by telling us we are different and unable to understand one another.My guess is the books sold because of people's inability to see one another as individuals. So much harm has already been done.A friend's son picked up "The Wonder of Girls" from a friends home and went telling everyone in town "girls are dumb and can't do math" This has a horrible effect on our children. As a woman,I grew so tired of hearing how women are "supposed" to be "more emotional" "have low self esteem"and are more prone to "depression" I was never infected with any of these problems.And then if a man is depressed he's afraid someone will see him as "weak" and he won't get help. Some of us have been able to look beyond the gender rubbish and see it as a good sell for the writers instead of the gospel truth. If we don't think of one another as individuals,there will be unfairness in school,the work place and in life. I even saw a site for a women's college which stated " women have different learning styles" I was thinking,what? People have different learning styles,not the sexes. This book is so refreshing!