Sailing

Beard and McKie's "Sailing" is a hilarious "dictionary" of sailing terms told in a way that pokes fun at almost all things nautical. Sailing can be an expensive, difficult, and frustrating pastime, and this book pokes fun at all of the difficulties in its definitions of common nautical terms. Irreverent, witty, and sometimes too true, I sat around with friends reading definitions from this book and at times we were laughing so hard we couldn't go on. William F. Buckley wasn't exaggerating when he said that this was the funniest book that he ever read and he quoted extensively from "Beard and McKie" in his sailing books. This book is a must-have for any sailor, and even non-sailors can appreciate much of the humor in this book.

You need to be sailing for about a year before you "get it" with this book.. and when you do, you will be howling. I love this book.. I own it.. have bought several copies for friends and it is always well received. This is a great addition to your collection if you love to sail and love to laugh.

I crew sailing on Lake Michigan, and I brought this book out on the boat with me last summer. I had our whole team holding their sides, everyone laughed so hard. My copy is a little wet from the spray, but this makes it even more dear to me since it now holds sun-drenched memories of summer sailing days. Anyone who loves sailing will love this book. There are also funny drawings with technical definitions, such as the tiller is labelled the "Steerer," the mainmast is the "Big Sail," the prow is the "Front End," and the stern is the "Back End." Very helpful to learn the official technical terms, in between laughing.Here are just a few of our crew's favorite definitions:Catfish -- Popular dish on seafood restaurant menus, where it appears under a variety of names, including haddock, scallops, bluefish, swordfish, and lobster Newburg.Chart -- 1. A large piece of paper that is useful in protecting cabin and cockpit surfaces from food and beverage stains. 2. A common decorative motif on place mats. 3. A nautical map that assists the boatman in determining whether he is on the water (blue on charts) or on land (yellow on charts).Flashlight -- Tubular metal container used on shipboard for storing dead batteries prior to their disposal.Hull speed -- The maximum theoretical velocity of a given boat through the water, which is 1.5 times the square root of its waterline length in feet, divided by the distance to port in miles, minus the time in hours to sunset cubed.Jiffy reefing -- Simple adjustment system that makes it possible to change from too much sail to too little sail in no time flat.Ocean racing -- Demanding form of sailing practiced by sportsmen whose idea of a good time is standing under an ice-cold shower, fully clothed, while tearing up $100 bills.Spinnaker -- Very large, colorful, lightweight pennant traditionally flown from the top of the mainmast when running downwind. Toe -- Stub your "toe"? Well then it's time to brush up on your nomenclature! In nautical terms, a toe is a catchcleat or snagtackle. A few others: head-- boomstop; leg-- bruisefast; and hand-- blistermitten.Yacht Club -- Troublesome seasonal infestation in coastal areas of a particularly unpleasant marine organism with a stiff neck, cold shoulders, and clammy extremities that tend to clog inlets, bays, and coves during warm summer months, often making ordinary recreational boating difficult.Well, you get the idea, this is just a sample of the dozens and dozens of definitions. If you love sailing and like to laugh, you'll love this book. Also a great gift idea for the sailor in your life.

Originally given as a gift to my father from a fellow sailor, I had to buy my own copy since I kept stealing his! Great fun for anyone who sails and those who wonder why we do. Some of the definitions, while humorous, are unfortunately a bit too accurate.

The book is a simple humrous look at the sport of sailing and boating. Sure to bring a smile to an old salt or the novice who just does not understand sailors and why they do it. Great gift for the sailing enthusiast.