Loving Him Well: Practical Advice on Influencing Your Husband

This is definitely worth reading! I wish every married (or soon to be married) woman would read this. Gary Thomas writes TO women, not just at them or for them. I felt very understood and was excited to alter my behavior during and after reading this.I also learned a ton about men in general...and i've been married for 14 years so i am not "new" at this. I am so encouraged! This isn't 5 easy steps to change your man, but a challenge and call to change yourself...the ONLY one you CAN change. The blessing that comes in your marriage from your personal growth is a bonus! It gives great advise from a man's point of view. Isn't that what we all need since we are so different from men? He is caring and respectful but plain and easy to understand. I hope you enjoy it as much as i have. Since i have read this and Sacred Marriage i have gone on to read Gary's other book The Glorious Pursuit...another winner!

To date, this book has been the greatest blessing of my married life. Gary Thomas is exceptionally insightful and writes with a heart of compassion and humility that translates loud and clear. I've read through several of the chapters with my husband and was delighted to discover just how much he identified with what Thomas said about the way men think and feel. After reading and discussing together, we had some really great breakthroughs in communication, just realizing where the other person was coming from, perspective-wise. I was amazed. The subtitle really captures the essence of the book: "What a Man Needs from His Wife to Be the Husband She Wants". Each chapter focuses on a different area of potential difficulty in a marriage where personal change and growth in your own life WILL have an effect on your relationship with your husband. This is not easy to hear when you are frustrated with a difficult spouse! But I can personally attest, following this way of thinking/acting has the power to change your marriage forever. And in the process you will find yourself closer to God and more joyful than ever before! As other reviewers have stated, "Sacred Influence" stands solidly on Scripture and sound theology. Happily, unlike other books of admittedly equal theological quality, this book is a great read - Thomas has a very engaging and enjoyable writing style. He incorporates many fun and fascinating stories of both present-day and historical couples and lots of personal experience. But don't expect an easy read though; as I mentioned above, the content is extremely personally challenging and goes against just about everything we hear in our culture! Change takes work. I've now learned that to become an element of change in my marriage and my husband's life, that work needs to start with me. I've been going through and discussing the book a chapter at a time with a small group of women from my church, which has been an added blessing. I highly recommend it for group study - especially in a setting with mixed ages/marital experience, where different perspectives and experiences add valuable insight. And our group has also demonstrated that this book is perfect for wives of vastly differing ages and length/type of marriage - the principles are still the same and we ALL need them! :-)

Sacred Influence addresses a woman's role in marriage as designed by God. This book is Biblically sound and doctrinally accurate. Gary Thomas' ability to tell women how be the wives that husbands need them to be and the women God designed the to be in such a kind and gentle way demonstrates his skill as an author and his understanding of love defined in I Corinthians. He does not compromise the truth regarding the requirements God sets before a woman in her marriage, or the roles for which we are designed. However, instead of beating down a woman's spirit, he mananges to motivate women to do their duties, in even the most difficult circumstances because it helps a husband be the man she wants and needs him to be. When I finished this book, it was very clear to me how much men need their wives in every facet of life. The better a wife treats her husband, the more likely she is to be treated better in return. The level of success of this priciple is of course relative to the humility of soul in both people in the marriage, and Thomas does not back down from that principle, either. Being valuable and needed is necessary validation for all of us. Thomas suggests that wives look for how their husbands might be trying to give them that validation, rather than assume the husbands aren't because they aren't doing it the way the wife thinks they should be. Furthermore, he suggests living by example in that regard--don't demand what you're not offering. If wives treat husbands like they are men, instead of wishing they would be something else--namely women, then they come to a point where they cannot live without us. Many women who are dissatisfied in their marriages complain that their husbands aren't men they want them to be. Thomas suggests that wives treat their husbands as if they already are that man while encouraging them in love. Most women don't get what they want because they set undefined and elusive standards, and then issue insults and ridicule when the unspoken standard isn't met. If you treat a man like he's worthless, he'll live up to that. If you treat a man like he's wonderful, he will live up to that, too. If he's worthless, there's no encouragement and no way to escape his pitiful state. If he's wonderful, he's going to do everything he can to protect that value you give him. I can't stress enough how polite Thomas' presentation is. While he does address issues of authority and roles, he presents it as a true leader would and has a correct understanding that authority in marriage. It is not that of dictator to slave, parent to child, teacher to student, or boss to employee. It is that of love, respect and responsibility to one another for the sake of God's glory, a stable home, and a strong nation. In my opinion, the best thing about this book is that it is written by a humble man, from a man's prespective so that women can understand a man's thought processes and physical nature. Many women seek enlightenment about m

This book is about the best I've read on the wife's relationship toward her husband. It is solid theologically, practically and relationally. While the focus is on a wife's relating to her husband, there will be many principles that can be applied to relationships across the board. From a "framework" perspective it does not reduce a wife to ONLY being a helper-completer, as do some books on this topic.

Another true masterpiece by Gary Thomas. If life came with a required reading list, this book would definitley need to be on the list. Gary is candid, practical, and transparent in his writing while maintaining a spirit of grace in his mentoring. This book gives a solid depiction of true servanthood in a marriage and why it works. It is a breath of fresh air in our in-your-face society of "self-fullfilment". I have applied the Biblical based advice in my own home and marriage, and haved reaped a harvest of great blessing and true happiness.