Rocking the Cradle of Sexual Politics: What Happened When Women Said Incest

Rocking the Cradle of Sexual Politics is a very important, educational book about some of the root causes of incest (particularly father-daughter incest). This is a very informative and revealing book on our societal response to the uncovering of incest. As a survivor of incest, Louise has developed a deep understanding of how incest is perpetuated through societal beliefs. These beliefs are woven so deeply into our society that they are hidden to people who are uneducated about the dynamics of power and control exerted by men over children (and women). These same hidden messages are then spouted out all across society and the media. And Louise is very correct in naming incest as the cradle of sexual politics. Louise isn't saying that only men commit sexual abuse, or that boys are not abused, she is simply focusing on the issues of male dominance over female children (and how this informs us about the most prevalent forms of incest). Louise also sheds light on what has become, in many ways, a victim culture. I agree with a lot of her views on our society creating a victim culture surrounding incest, and I am very thankful that Louise has spoken out about this, but at the same time I think she can go a little too far in that direction. I think it is very important to acknowledge our power as women and to steer ourselves away from the perpetuation of a victim culture, but at the same time we should not silence ourselves or cover over the depth of the impact that incest has had on our lives. Although our experiences of incest may be similar, everyone has a somewhat different experience and after effects, and I do not believe in judging people's experiences or reactions. I agree that the self-help culture can be overkill, but at the same time if we have the need to heal, and we need support I think it is good to be self-motivated (and not left to rely only upon doctors and therapists who can only offer an opinion). Louise made some extremely important points on this topic, but I just feel more fluidity in my opinions. I cannot generalize people into categories. My opinions about people are based on the full context and situation of each individual's life. Incest is a political issue, but we cannot forget that it is also personal (it happens everyday to real, individual people). If we discard recovery altogether what options are left for transcending the personal effects that incest has had on our inner lives? Although I do not agree with all of Louise Armstrong's opinions, seeing the integrity and conviction that she has to her own beliefs has re-affirmed the value of my commitment to my own opinions and insights about sexual violence within our society. Having a strong commitment to ending sexual violence is extremely important if we ever want to reach that goal.

The author of this book, Louise Armstrong, is a woman of courage and unafraid of speaking her mind, despite the very delicate subject on child sexual abuse. In her book, she portrays child sexual abuse as being a problem that the male dominated society manipulates and maintains with almost every means available. The view that through time, women have been held responsible for the sexual abnormalities of a certain percentage of the male sex, is strongly stressed throughout the book. Mothers are encouraged to act, when their children disclose sexual abuse by their fathers and when they indeed act, the legal system reacts by holding the mothers responsible for the abuse, not the criminal fathers, based on the courts' findings they have not been able to "prevent" their husbands from sexually abusing their children: "And so the mother sued the doctors and laywers who did nothing to help. She said that "even when a medical examination found evidence of sexual abuse after a weekend visit with the father in February 1981, her complaints were ignored, and she was subsequently found in contempt of court because she refused to allow the father to visit the child". Either she would allow the father to take the child for a weekend visit or she would go to jail" (p.121)! We are caught in a learned helplessness situation and Louise Armstrong inspires us to do something about it, not to give up the fight! One of the most inspiring books I will ever read!

Rocking the Cradle of Sexual Politics is the best social analysis of incest and child sexual abuse that I have ever read. The first woman to publicly acknowledge her status as a survivor in the USA (on the Phil Donahue show), Louise now looks back to see how far we have come since then: from the shocked response of the television audience to a growing profit-making industry in "healing" the survivor. The politics, says Louise, has fallen by the wayside. Exploiting the nightmare that is incest by claiming to "heal" the wounds, we seem to be forgetting that there is a problem out there, a major one, one that keeps all of our children at risk, one that is growing larger every day. The more we deny the validity of incest, the more we condone the status quo of a society that nourishes and thrives on the vulnerability of children and the naivete of those charged with their care and protection. The State is not the answer...in more instances than not, it is part of the problem. It is only, however, by acknowledging that there *is* a problem that a workable solution can be found. This solution will not be simple, easy, or quick...and it will expose powerful people who do not want to be exposed, people who benefit from the power and control of exploiting those who are vulnerable and powerless. That is the politics of the situation: the politics of power. Children are only powerless as long as we continue to focus on our "careers" as 'healers' rather than in our ability to empower them as advocates. Louise Armstrong strongly suggests we have lost our focus. As one survivor who has met hundreds of others in my own healing journey, I strongly agree.

This is an excellent look back at where incest has been and its legal and social status in the US now. It is an unsettling looking at how incest has been allowed in our society by the legal system past and present, but also a look at how our society focuses on the `victim/survivor' not on the perpetrator. The conclusion Armstrong makes is one most men do not like: men have the power over women and misuse it.

I am reading the book, I feel the anger, the frustration of being part of a society that still denies the existence of incest while blaming mothers for it. I am starting to understand better the system in which incest can exist and be perpetuated, I can see how the system works where a child can be put in foster care while her/his abuser stays safe in his home. Didn't men prefer when we,women used to shut the fuck up and let ourselves be raped and enslaved for years ? Now that we dare to say something, it's still our fault, for being not good enough mothers, for being consenting daughters or complicit mothers. Judges reflect the vicious societal backlash and even call us liars to our face. Quote: "Among the hundreds of women I would follow over the years, each of them, with two or three exceptions, lost custody, and not infrequently, all visitation rights, most often to the alleged abuser." Not even talking about those mothers that were sent to jail for "overstimulating, confusing and traumatizing the child, etc..." Not even talking about the "[increasing number] battered women and their children that are murdered after they leave the relentlessly assaultive marriage". Men show the little interest they have in children only to fuck them and/or to use them as weapons to hurt women. That is possibly one the many conclusions to this book but, I am only half way through it, so...! This book constitutes an education, an eye-opener for those that want to understand better the dialectics of incest and the "sexual politics" around it. It belongs to the few books written on the subject. I highly recommend it!