Revelation X: The "Bob" Apocryphon: Appointed to Be Read in Churches

Getting this book will be the difference in eternal salvation or going to work tomorrow. Get it now, before it's too late. This is your last warning, we're watching you.

If the Book of The Subgenius left your brain nearly distroyed. The sequal will finish the job! If only Saddam had read this book! If he did, then the Iraqi's would be patrolling New York City right now! "Bob" gives Jesus a wedgie! "Bob" give Mohommad a "wet willie!" "Bob" is the punch line to a joke that was never spoken. "Bob" is the whoppie cushion at the Black Tie Dinner of reality! "Bob" is the pie! "Bob" is the arm of Moe! "Bob" is the pie fight at the end of the Three Stooges Episode! The end times are a'near! Get right with "Bob" now!

I bought this one too, now I'm even crazier!Thanks again, "Bob"!

Bob has kept the secret well hidden, however there are those of us who have come to figure it out for ourselves. Prior to the New Testament, the Koran, the Book of Ulvolva (ancient text of Atlantis), the Book of Zen, the Zoroastrian Scripture, the Talba, the Tonka, the Willy Wonka, and the Sears Roebuck catalog-- we have, written in the time of Ancient Maldaistheregasinthecar (formerly Rowwanda East of Gucci), a holy text. If you have mastered the Tao of Jeet Condo, then perhaps you are ready for the Apocryphon.Bob has encrypted the actual `date of text.' In fact, within the Apocryphon are the architectural plans to the Ark of Noah, the Leaning Tower of Pizza (hold the anchovies), the Great Wall of China, the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, and the electrical schematics for the Univac, the Cadillac, and the Rayovac--- all encrypted. Not to mention a fascinating `Table of Elements' containing over 92 undiscovered elements and a killer Betty Cronkyte chocolate chip cookie recipe.Bob knows, and perhaps with some basic instruction and years of grueling practice, you too could know. Keep in mind that the Apocryphon doubles as both a CPRRPMWPM and an MFCCOICSOIC manual. Having the knowledge, as Bob warns, is half the battle. Knowing just what to do with having the knowing of every aspect of everything and everything in-between everything in and of itself is besides the point. However, despite these dichotomic delemmic conundrums one must insist the practice itself is beyond the ability of even the most skilled novice. Therefore Bob suggests that perhaps the reading of the Apocryphon backward could produce more or less understanding of the meaninglessness of the attempt not to do so.Using the Apocryphon I have gained enlightenment and understand that, had I not pursued these truths, I would have undoubtedly overcome. Thank you Bob for being there, even when I did not need you, and thank you also for your wisdom and arrogance.

"Something for NOTHING It Can All Be Yours Everything You Know Is TRUE "Bob IS THE PROOF" (Page ii) Throughout Revelation X I came across statements which at first glance might seem silly or nonsensical, and yet upon further inspection came across as bearing a kernal of truth. As for the quote above, in the context of the two nearby pictures of brains, one labeled "before" and healthy, and a second labeled "after" where the cerebral cortex has shrunk and become disfigured, it is a damning critique of the cult follower mentality, whereby one is crippled by the presumption of obtained truth, rather than continually searching for more truth. The "Bob is Proof" refers to the circular reasoning integral in the matinence of this veneer of possessing truth, observable in the fundamentalist who quotes his scriptures to say that his God exists because God revealed the scripture saying that he exists. Revelation X has the distinguishing feature of being hilarious while at the same time incisive, in fact, in some places brilliant when it comes to analyzing religion (especially Scientology) and popular culture, such that I am left wondering where to begin. One section I loved had to do with the nature of Revelation X and the Church: "The Church of Subgenius: Salvation, or Salivation? A joke disguised as a religion? Or an actual, secretive religion, disguised as a joke disguised as a religion? Or, an incredibly complex joke, disguised as an extremely ambiguous religion, disguised as a joke disguised as a religion? Just another excuse for obnoxious jerks, or the last bastion of human dignity? " (xiv) It goes on to ask the same questions of other religions: "Drugged by childish superstitions and fairy tales, they don't realize that they are enslaved by shadows on the cave walls. We were the ones who MADE those shadows in the first place, but try telling them that! Now they want to subject us to the mass hallucinations we first set in motion!" (xiv) By alluding to Plato's "Allegory of the Cave," it reminds me of the circumstances chaining people to the conclusions they were to make about their place in the universe in past historical epochs. It does seem like a joke to think that people would engage in human sacrifice to make sure that "the sun wouldn't burn out"...when we obviously see that the sun, controlled by the natural process of fusion, isn't going to burn out if we don't rip a few hearts out, that Allah/Yahweh isn't going to send fire and brimstone on us if we view gays and lesbians as fellow human beings. Well, some of us, that is. But hey, no prob according to "Bob"- "Think Stupidly. Act Globally." (3) Another insight I derived from Revelation X was a further understanding of the noncognitivist position, namely, that God does exist is not a statement or proposition that can be said to be true or false in the same way that "That chair is grey" can be said to be true or false. While I don't think that Revelation X