Restoring Sexual Identity

I read Anne Paulk's wonderful book over a year ago to evaluate it as a possible resource for a recovery group for women struggling with same-sex attraction. I was quite impressed with what I read then and I still feel the same. We have desperately needed a resource such as this. Years ago, when I was struggling and in therapy, all I had was Leanne Payne's "The Broken Image." It helped, and I very much believe in the power of prayer to help heal the brokenness of homosexuality. But this book is extremely accessible and well-written. The survey, itself, is worth the price of the book. Frankly, I give a hat tip to any layperson who can write like Anne Paulk does. I am a firm believer in peer support for those desiring to overcome same-sex attraction. The safe, ideal place for this kind of support is within our churches. It is a function of discipleship, although we seem to have forgotten that in our quest for scientific validation of our counseling methods. The Bible validates quite nicely, thank you. Science is God revealed. Compassion is helping others to see Him. I cannot yet compare this book to Janelle Hallman's "The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction," but I do plan to read that one, as well. One thing that disturbs me about Hallman's approach is the appearance (gleaned from articles I have read by her and about her) of affirming women who decide to maintain their lesbian identity. This sounds a bit fishy and unhealthy to me. As for the gay activists posing as reviewers here who diss Anne merely because she is married to John Paulk and obviously have not read her book ... what childishness! Certainly lends credence to Elizabeth Moberly's classic assertions that homosexuals are stuck in adolescence, developmentally speaking.

A wonderful review of the complex creature that is woman and the steps to take for women who desire to walk away from homosexuality.

Let me start by saying to all women who struggle with same-sex attractions that hope exists and that it is real! Anne did a wonderful job presenting this hope in her book! And yet she also honestly admits the struggle and the journey out of lesbianism in the reality of a fallen and painful world. It is not an easy road! It can be long and ardous, but my beautiful women, it is possible, and completely worth ALL the blood, sweat and tears!!! Let us not fall into the trap of what this person said, or what that person said! Let us not make generalized, absolute and yet un-substantiated statements regarding the impossibility of freedom! Change is possible! I myself am a testament to that. Anne also does well to provide several different case studies of struggling women. Different women with different stories allows for personal identification with at least one or more! And when you can relate, it makes the hope even more real to you! I would also greatly recommend Jeanette Howard's book - Out of Egypt... an excellent portrait of the development of same-sex attractions, linked with this hope and this freedom! The world tries to hide the fact that freedom exists and our stories are hidden from the public. Have you ever noticed that the world acknowledges our failures more-so than our successes?! And when humanity is constantly shown only failure, we tend to believe only in failure! Do not fall for it! Hope is real and VERY MUCH ALIVE!!!!!!

Hello, I want to say that I have not yet read the book, but want to ask if someone wants to get a car fixed, would they go to someone who's never worked or fixed a car themselves or someone who knows how because they have had to walk it through and learn? What I'm getting at is that Anne Paulk has worked through and walked through what it takes to walk out of lesbianism and same sex attraction so why not give a try a book written by someone who has "fixed a car" and walked out and went on. I remember going to the Love In Action support group over 15 years ago to help with my own lesbianism and having come when Anne was still just an attendee but meeting her as well as a handful of other women who I find still have their testimonies listed whether on Exodus International or Love In Action websites and am so delighted to see them still walking it out after so many years. Now, would you want to learn from a mechanic who has fixed their own car or from a critic of the mechanic who has never fixed any cars before or ever experienced anyone fixing their car before? Why not give her book a try? If anyone has hope, she seems to be one of them. This book is not about her husband, or anyone else's walk, but her own personal one. It might be more reasonable to keep it all separate as that is not what the title and subject matter of her book is about. Thank you and bless you, Anne, for trying to write and get out there some resources/tips that you have learned along the way in your journey out of lesbianism and for being willing to be vulnerable to even write a book on this subject matter. The 5 star rating (sorry, but they wouldn't let me just not put a rating) is for the exciting thing that God can do with a life that's broken and rebuild it in a lovely way in rebuilding who Anne is and who we each are. There is hope.

I was impressed with the fact that this author, Anne Paulk herself a former lesbian, had expertly conducted her research into how many women find their way in and out of this lifestyle during the course of their lifetimes and why?Anne is an educated woman and could have been content w/ just helping to co-write her first book with her husband, John Paulk, about their experiences in the homosexual lifestyle and the factors that led each of them, respectively out of it, in a book entitled, "Love Won Out." But, no, proving herself to be an excellent scholar she furthered her research findings in this well-written piece exploring the reasons that leads many women into the gay lifestyle for a short period of time or indefinitely. In addition, in the year, 2000, she conducted a professionally extensive survey with 265 women coming out of homosexuality which provided some particular insights that her readership would want to know and consider. One fact that improved my understanding was to learn that sexual partner choices among women is much more fluid throughout their lifetime than it is for men. For example, her survey results found that "three out of five of the surveyed women had sexual relations with a man after having already felt sexually attracted to another female; and three out of ten unmarried women had been sexually involved with a man, even at the point of considering themselves to be lesbians already; this behavior would be unheard of in the gay male community." In addition, the author's research touched on the fact that married women also experimented with the gay lifestyle at a surprisingly higher rate than might be suspected.Although the author developed this text from a Christian-healing perspective, she delved into reasons for same-sex attraction, classic development of the lesbian lifestyle versus healthy female gender development, as well as the important part parents could play in that healthful development. She quotes experts on both sides of the issues, heterosexual and homosexual professionals alike.I particularly profited from learning that many potential lesbians at an early age viewed their mothers in an abusive male-dominated relationship; and they very quickly decided, early-on, that their mothers must have been weak people to allow the abuse in the first place; from that tragic childhood experience, they gathered their wits about them and decided that this would not be profiled in their own futures. Whether you are searching for answers about your own gender-orientation, whether you are a Christian or non-Christian, a parent, educator, counselor, pastor, friend, relative, or co-worker of a gay woman, you like me will benefit greatly by continuing to educate yourself concerning issues that affect all of our lives in some capacity, today.