Reputations Fade Away

Dawayne's memoir may not be unique to the public eye, but his story is special in the way it was written. Most stories about street-life is so jammed pack with vulgarities that a reader can lose the sense of the message that the author is trying to convey...that's not the case with Dawayne who tells just enough for readers to get the point, paint the picture in their minds and move on to the next page. Dawayne's memoir is honest and he puts your attention into the minds of how young black males think and why they think and feel the way that they do, including his own mind-set as he tried to press on to maturity and escape the streets. He discusses the common issues that face many black families in urban American today, particularly the single mothers who are often stuck to raise their children without a father and the detrimental effects that it can have on children. Dawayne was a product of that "single mom" generation that tried to raise a boy and make him a man. Yet, Dawayne is a man determined to break the cycle of fatherless children by trying to set an example for black men to be better fathers and to break the cycle of self-hate, resentment, and jealousy. Dawayne realizes that what matters most in life does not come with a price-tag, and is not sold in a dime bag. But he realizes what matters is gaining an understanding of self, forgiveness, having a personal relationship with God, your children, family and friends. Since death almost took him twice and he was blessed to have escaped, he is now avoiding a third strike by establishing a "reputation" that really matters with his family and his community, and he's hoping that this type of rep won't fade away.

By now the story told here has become a familiar motif in the ongoing internecine struggles of urban warfare in which "gang is pitted against gang," neighborhood against neighborhood," and in some cases (as this one), even family members against each other. This story is important not just because of its easy and much over wrought cover theme of "redemption of a lost soul through Christ," but mainly because embedded within and behind this familiar pretext remains enough truth in the underlying subtext of the book to decode the "Rosetta Stone" of urban violence. This not so well hidden code, the last remaining psychological barrier to understanding why there is so much "black-on-black" crime and violence, lies "hidden in plain sight" both at the center of this story and at the center of the tragic cycles of petty internecine warfare that for the last half century has provided the backdrop for a major part of the urban American social drama. The strongest clue to this underlying secret is the uncanny way in which the "code of the streets" defines, dictates, utterly dominates and then ultimately undermines all "individual self-construction projects" of the life of young urban black men. Its centripetal force of peer group pressures, like an evil gravity in the ether, captures them at an early age, and then inexorably "pulls them in," by their noses, their Dicks, their spirits and their souls. And importantly, it does so well before they have had a chance to decide on healthier choices and alternatives, which, in any case, are, as often as not, missing in these diminished circumstances. Mr. Williams got an early start in his own "manhood self-construction project" and was already well on the ladder leading down into the urban social abyss and to his inevitable demise, by age seven. Where the larger Culture Meets the Black Male Self-Construction Project It is in the subconscious where the individual's self-definition and self-creation projects are hatched and where they eventually intersect with societal rules to help shape ones personality. Even though it is taking place in the background, it is at this vital juncture, this interface between the "individual mind" and "larger cultural rules and forces" where all the tension and action of the struggle for self-discovery is centered. And because self-construction is a "private affair," indeed a solitary project even for young kids, shaped mostly by peer pressure, intervention can often be next to impossible: Independence mandates that self-discovery be closed to too much external interference, assistance and teaching. Thus, it seems to matter little whether there is a strong or a weak parental figure, or positive or negative role models involved. The results are all the same: The "call of the streets" the theater of self-discovery for urban youths, is always stronger than the strongest of "role models," and stronger than all but the most determined parental authority. Put simply, the real story he

This is a most important book. Dwayne Williams takes us into his life on the streets: males vying for position, selling drugs when money is low, carrying weapons for protection, and using willing women. This is an insider's look into the subculture of the inner city which shapes many of our youth. Congratulations to Williams for being able to climb his way out of this unlawful, purposeless life.

Very good book I read it in one day. If your from the DC/Md area u can especially relate but really a good read for all from everywhere. I'll be looking out for this author.

Kojack, I really enjoyed your autobiography and it was definitey a page turner. In the beginning, I thought it would be another B-Boy type novel, but you proved me wrong. Your book hit home because I am from DC, had a hustler for a man and hanging out at those same spots. Continue to be blessed and good luck in your endeavors!