Remarried with Children: Ten Secrets for Successfully Blending and Extending Your Family

Author Barbara LeBey writes with wit and wisdom. She has an important message whether the marriage is the second, third -- or first: Put the marriage first, and everything else will fall into place. Today's families must be strong from within, and that strength comes from its foundation, the parents. More of today's "experts" should realize this truth. This is a terrific book.

Many years ago I married a man with five children. To further agitate this domestic caldron, I already had six children of my own. These were the days when large families were the norm, and the movie "Yours, Mine and Ours" was the first to recognize that people with children were marrying each other. Aside from being in love, all I had going for me was my high energy and sense of adventure, the fact that children seemed to like me, and that my own children were turning out well. There was no road map, and I flew blind. Things went badly, and the marriage failed. Perhaps I could have avoided the feelings of inadequacy I still carry if a book like "Remarried with Children" had been available.

This book shows how important it is to put the marriage first. The focus is on putting aside the time to create a good relationship and preventing another divorce and more trauma for the children. The author tries not to push every relationship into one mold and she offeres a variety of options for some problems. I really enjoyed reading this book and I highly recommend it for those whose lives have fallen into any of these situations.

I think the new book by Barbara Lebey is extemely informative and straightforward on the potential problems facing blended families. The author gets right to the heart of the matter and offers unvarnished practical advice. It is a must read for anyone with these issues in their lives and a most welcome gift for someone who is embarking into this evergrowing family dynamic. Anita Roll

As I read Remarried with Children--Ten Secrets for Successfully Blending and Extending Your Family by Barbara LeBey, all I kept thinking was: where was this book when I needed it. Many years ago I married a man who had a nine-year-old son and an eleven-year-old daughter. Since I had never had children, I entered this marriage ill-equipped--I was virtually clueless--to deal with the children of the man I loved. LeBey's book could have saved me so much grief (the checklist alone on pages 113-115 would have been invaluable), prevented the myriad mistakes I made, and helped me work through the conflicts and problems that are inevitable when two people marry and one or both bring their children into the marriage. You aren't just marrying that man or woman, you are also an "instant family"--one that was there years before you came on the scene. Without the knowledge and tools to deal with this complex situation, the probability is that you will deal instead with ongoing tension and conflict, every conceivable form of resentment, disagreement and confrontation. And, in many instances, the stress of the stepchildren/stepparent relationship can erode the very foundation of the marriage itself. It did in my case. Every chapter in Remarried with Children would have served to enlighten me, to calm my anxieties, and offer the kind of sage advice that I could have used on a day to day basis. The book is filled with reader-friendly stories that serve to illustrate--dramatize,really--every point LeBey makes. Her style is compassionate, often witty, entertaining, but above all, always delineating the problems with clarity and insight, and giving the reader the awareness, motivation and the means to make their newly blended family a shining success. As I said, I definitely needed this book, and now after reading it, I know it would have been all that I needed.