Relational Parenting

This is the fourth book I've read by Dr.Campbell, and each of his books repeat the same concepts, but with variations in word-use, and differences in focus. Regardless, I like the fact that each book reinterates the same, doable, logical and recallable points that I was able to apply immediately. My goal is to be so familiar w/ Dr. C's techniques that it flows out of me naturally, that it becomes a part of me. Since starting his books, including this one, I've been able to manage my anger during tense, frustrating moments, I've been able to identify my children's needs more objectively and act accordingly. I've searched for opportunities to give my children what they inherently need before they start "acting up." The peace and pattern of our home since then has been dramatic. In a nutshell, this book discusses HOW to fill a child's emotional tank since the majority of bad behavior stems from an empty tank. That entails positive eye contact, physical touch and focused attention. Then he stresses that discipline is not punishment but training. And you can train by example, role modeling, verbal instruction, written requests, teaching, and during play. He discussed how adults are to respond to misbehavior. That is, by asking yourself what does my child need? Is his emotional tank low? Is he okay physically (not ill or tired)? Then you can decide if child is truly misbehaving, which he calls defiance. He defined true misbehavior as being out of control, being defiant and challenging parental authority, all of which is not to be tolerated. Then he went on to explain the various ways of controlling behavior, the best and first method to attempt is to make a request (can you please clean that up?), then commands, then gental physical manipulation (leading toddler away from the fire), then punishment, and lastly behavioral modification. He urges parents to be proactive rather than reactive. To explain your reasonings to your children, as well as the sequence of your thought processes so they can relate to you better and learn as well. He also went into dealing with your child's anger, and to see it as an opportunity to train, and not to get reactively angry back at your child. There's so much more in the book, but those were some of the points I've outlined in the back of the book for quick reference as a refresher. I wish that all would-be parents and already parents would read this book. When I look at my past mistakes that could have been avoided, and opportunities lost where I could have used as training moments, I wished that I had read the book before. Awesome book. A must read, for the sake of your children.

In Relational Parenting, Dr. Ross Campbell teaches Christian parents how to build relationships with their children by anticipating the child's needs, rather than merely reacting to the child's behavior. Dr. Campbell asserts that the underpinning of a genuinely meaningful relationship with a child is unconditional love. Only this will nurture the child emotionally and spiritually. It is also essential for the Christian parent to understand that discipline is not synonymous with punishment. A parent's consistent expression of love must adapt to the age and developing personality of the child, and consists of meeting their emotional and nurturance needs, giving them loving training and discipline, providing physical and emotional protection, teaching and modeling anger management. Relational Parenting offers a common sense alternative to the traditional behavior modification approach of secular parenting. Relational Parenting is highly recommended reading for all who are anticipating or newly experiencing parenthood.