ReChurch: Healing Your Way Back to the People of God

I got an email from Tyndale asking me to review a book, ReChurch by Stephen Mansfield. The description said, "If you've ever attended church you've probably suffered a church hurt.....If you're ready to take the tough path to healing, Mansfield will walk you through it with love and understanding, showing you how you can be better than ever on the other side of the mess....but only if you're willing to ReChurch." I was both skeptical and interested at that description. I have two distinctive church hurt stories. The first happened when I was 17, and it was hard to battle my way through that and find a new church. It took a while. The second happened only a few years ago, and I will be honest with you, I have only returned to church (other than tv church) in the last two months. I've still been dealing with my hurts and my feelings about the people who hurt me. So, when I got this email I thought I would go for it. See what this guy had to say about church hurt. I am so glad that I did that. This book is amazing!! He starts with a small history lesson, (which is much more interesting than I just made it sound!) showing that being hurt in church is nothing new, it started in the New Testament church and continues to this day. Chapter four is called "Lessons from a Season in Hell", this title convinced me that this man had lived through it! He asks the reader to examine that time, to see what lessons we can learn from it. There are hard truths to be found in that chapter. He doesn't get to forgiveness until chapter 5, which I think was very intentional. If you are still living in the pain of that hurt, you aren't ready to really do the forgiveness work until you have worked through the previous chapters, but once he gets to forgiveness......he isn't handing out simple platitudes, he means business!! Forgiveness, what it means and how to do it. For me, it was a revolutionary look at something we should all be doing, but often don't know how to start. If you have been hurt in church, or you love someone who has been hurt in church and you want to understand what they are going through and how you might be able to help them, I would suggest this book. In fact, I would suggest the chapter on forgiveness to everyone. I was not paid by Tyndale for this review, but I did receive a copy of the book for free. The opinions are my own and I was not required to say nice things about this book.

"[Jesus] loves his bride. Go figure. She's a mess in my view, but he's crazy about her and won't put up with me either speaking ill of her or pulling away from her if I am going to be intimate with him... The fact is that if you are going to love Jesus, you're going to have to make nice with his wife." When I saw ReChurch: Healing Your Way Back to the People of God, I knew it was a book I needed to read personally. As the wife of a pastor, I don't have the option of leaving physically when things get tough but sometimes leaving mentally and emotionally can be just as bad. Or worse. Can I be that honest with you? I have never given up on serving God but there are days I want to give up on his people- myself included. Myself more often than not. If that has ever described you, you need to read this book. Stephen Mansfield has not written a book that will prompt you to rant and rave about what those church people have done or how everyone's just a hypocrite or how bad you have it and how much "those people" have done to hurt you. Instead, he quickly shares his own journey through the pain of being hurt by those from whom you least expect it (without giving details or bashing those from his past) and then the rough road back to healing. I say rough road because he doesn't focus on what everyone else has done or continues to do, but he focuses on you. He focuses on me. He leads us to look at ourselves, to look at our beliefs, to look at the truth of the situation, and to view the church as God does. He gives a wonderful illustration about how we hold onto our bitterness, one that will stay with me for a long time to come. He writes from the perspective of a man who was formerly a pastor and continues in a different type of ministry now. Not everything was applicable to me or my situation but there was plenty there that was, and it hit hard. As in "hurts so good" hard. There is no lack of grace here though, or belittling of the pain some have experienced at the hands of good Christian people. This is not a "just get over it" type of book. I appreciated this, as well as the practicality of his message. He doesn't just show you why you need to change your thinking and your heart, but follows it up with practical exercises to help you not just read but DO. I read this rather quickly and want to go back through, taking time for the exercises which pertain to me. I plan to recommend this highly to my friends who also work in full time ministry. I believe it could be a huge help, life changing even, for any one who is still bearing wounds from the church body in which they had hoped to find safety and rest. I finished the book with a truer understanding of the church and a better understanding of myself. I finished the book with truths planted firmly in my heart that will hopefully take root and help "restore the joy of my salvation". I finished the book with hope.

Wow! I finished ReChurch last night and it is an amazing book. I requested it as part of a blog review program with Tyndale, but God knew it was just what I needed to read! Mansfield (a former burned pastor) wrote this book after hearing story upon story of people wounded by the church. He himself experienced some deep wounds from the church and admittedly mishandled the experience. His heart in this book is to help others heal from the hurt experiences and deal with the wounds in a way that honors God and brings the sheep back into the fold (messy as it may be). I have to admit - probably the deepest wound I have ever endured has been from a church experience (by church, I am referring to the people of God, not a building or particular leader). By God's grace, I have not lost hope. There are scars from my battle wounds, though. I did not realize to the extent that I needed to deal with this until being confronted by Mansfield. WARNING - do not read this book if you are not prepared or willing to change and grow. This is not another feel-good Christian book that coddles the poor sweet victim of the church. Mansfield forces you to deal with your junk and acknowledge the role you play in the sin that is inevitable in the church (it is, after all filled with sinners). His goal is to get the believer plugged back into a church that is a good fit for him/her. In fact, the entire last chapter is all about points to consider when moving forward and looking for a new church if need be. I highly recommend this book for pastors and their wives as well. Trust me, you too, can glean some insight and illumination from this book. I am not minimizing the hurts of the average church goer, however I think the most wounded people in the church often are the pastors, staff and their families. For some reason, when someone has the title "pastor" others forget that he is still a person. He will have sin in his life and let you down. He has real feelings. Yes - your criticisms hurt. This is particularly so when it comes about through gossip or online forums (blog comments, facebook, etc.). He has a real family who is often sacrificing time to benefit the church at large and to advance the Kingdom. The pastor's wife is not meant to be your sounding board for complaints. All of this to say, pastors and families - you need this book the most! You have probably endured a greater quantity of church wounds than anyone. There were several chapters that had great meaning to me. I particularly was ministered to by the 2nd Chapter all about the historical reality of people being wounded in the church. There is a certain comfort I gleaned from reading about theologians I highly respect and admire who endured wounds from friends they trusted most. It is a great reminder that there are others that have gone before you and walked through brokenness with grace. I think any reader who approaches this book with an honest heart that is willing to sel

This is a "must-read" for any ministry leader/pastor that has "church hurt." Mansfield does not shake his "holier-than-thou" finger at you, he indeed walks as a mentor/life-coach. His approach was very refreshing and lacking in my sphere of influences. I enjoyed his candidness from the very first pages which kept me reading. As I reached the end of chapter 3 - I had what I came for...thank you for brother for your transparency and now onto my destiny in God. Many months ago I pasted a note on my computer stand - God gives us hurdles so we will learn how to jump - and as I concluded chapter 3 I realized I had been running towards those hurdles but could not jump over them and I had no clue as to why. Then it was clear - offense, bitterness and unforgiveness were the weights that were keeping me from making it over the hurdles - God allowed those hurdles to be there and it was my job to drop the weights and JUMP over them - there would be no other way but over - the odd thing was I had jumped those hurdles several times before and yet I didn't recognize them until the end of chapter 3. And God orchestrated things that the very day I ended chapter 3 I was face-to-face with those who I felt hurt me - it was a short lesson and the test followed immediately - and I was genuinely free of offense, bitterness and unforgiveness - there was a newness of the relationships and no need for any apologies - there really was nothing to apologize for. Again, this is a must-read and it gets 5 stars! Also points from Lessons from a season in hell were awesome and are moving me back into the ministry to God's people - 1) anyone who seeks to make a difference suffers on the way - Who was I to think I might be any different...that was a bombshell that shook me deep inside - I never sought to be heroic, just wanted to be a co-laborer with Christ and produce disciples - to make a difference like others had made in my life - didn't realize people wouldn't always appreciate it. the second - the tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives - this was just too unbeareable for me to stay where I was and not get back to the high calling on my life. Lastly, "That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse..." That's the power of this book - it refocused me on the things God wants from me - His return on His investment - I'm renewed, refreshed and reignited to contribute a verse...

Slated for release this Spring, celebrated author Stephen Mansfield writes of all things related to church hurt in his newest release, ReChurch. Distancing himself from the roles of counselor and judge, Mansfield declares himself a coach, desperate to help the reader get over their hurt and get back to church. Mansfield admonishes those who think they can love God, yet forsake the gathering of His people. It is refreshing to see a popular individual take such a hard-lined approach to the church, rather than advocating "spirituality" or "plurality." I appreciate Mansfield's honesty, openness, and humility. Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Tyndale Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commision's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."