Reasonable People: A Memoir of Autism and Adoption

Savarese's account of his and his wife Emily's efforts to adopt and integrate a boy diagnosed with classic autism into their family (and also into a society that--even in this new millennium--segregates the severely disabled) is both excruciatingly heartbreaking and unbelievably joyful. His compelling narrative of the struggle to break through the bonds (of autism and abuse) that impede DJ's ability to communicate offers an unflinchingly honest reflection on the wretched state of the foster care system, the narrow-mindedness of the psychological and medical establishments, and his own limitations and failings. But more than that, it is a story of the astonishing power of human love to heal and connect. This book is a page-turner that had me thinking and talking about it for weeks afterwards.

I highly recommend this book. Savarese invites us to watch as his son DJ, who is autistic, acquires language. But the journey to language acquisition is hardly a simple feat. What we encounter in the text is not only DJ's, but his family's struggle with the condition of autism - a condition complicated further by institutions poised to reject the difficulties they associate with difference, and by individuals who abuse others and themselves in an effort to deal with their own helplessness. But even at the book's most critical junctures, there is an absence of self-pity. In fact, the book's greatest achievement is embodied in DJ's accomplishments and that of his parents. Yet the genius of the text is Savarese's ability to turn the focus away from their lives and onto the reader. Because even as we're moved to sympathize with their struggles, we're also moved to contemplate the comfortable state from which we evoke such sympathy. Throughout DJ's early life, we witness the problems associated with poverty, welfare, and a foster care system that is itself in need of care. Because these problems still persist, Savarese implores his readers to do more. The book's most enduring quality is not limited to DJ's emergence into selfhood, but in the possibility for its readers to re-imagine other ways of being, other ways of living in the world. This is an extraordinary book.

Yes, this is a book about autism and adoption, but it is also a book about all of us. It is about how we stereotype others, about how we give up on others, about how we love or don't love others. It is also beautifully and delightfully written by a literature professor who is passionate about his subject and knows how to tell a good story. I was amazed how vulnerable this family allowed itself to become in order to let the rest of us know what autism is really about and to challenge healthcare professionals to take another look at what they are doing to "treat" it. One thing for sure, I'll never look at an autistic person again without thinking about D.J. and the Savareses.

This is by far the best writing on autism I have ever read. The story is so fascinating; it unfolds like a mystery or an adventure novel. There is no self-pity just a really well written description of a boy who is able to struggle (really struggle) towards communication and inclusion (after a brutally abusive early childhood) with the help of his very human, but unbelievably dedicated parents. This not just another earnest book about overcoming disability. It is so eye-opening AND so much fun to read. The last chapter will blow you away.