Raising Your Child, Not by Force But by Love

I love this book. I think it is an EXCELLENT parenting resource. It makes sense. I was trying to figure out what my parents did right and I mentioned this to Jill Connor Browne (the famous Sweet Potato Queen) and she recommended this book. I cannot thank her enough for the suggestion. I bought the book, read it, read it again to highlight in it, made my husband read it, and now I either loan it out or buy copies for my friends (which is why I'm at the page now). I re-read the highlighted parts every now and then just to remind myself and help me stay on track because consistency is the hardest part of parenting. ENJOY!

This is a FABULOUS book detailing how, as parents, we need to understand that children do NOT think like adults. The author explains how children are not capable of rational, logical thinking due to their biological immaturity, and it is up to us to help properly guide them so they can become balanced, healthy individuals who become able to think rationally and logically as they grow. The alternative can be a very angry, distraught child who turns to other sources of comfort (drugs, rebellion, crime etc) when their "irrational" yet very real rage at their parents prevents them from turning to their parents for help or solace.On reading the valuable information in this book, it becomes clear that we must relate to our children differently. We cannot hold them responsible as though they can think like an adult. We must give them love and reassurance, and allow them to develop with our tender guidance. If we want to keep our connection with our children, instead of feeling separated from them as they grow into their teenage years, we have to stop doing things the way we have been. The answer may just prevent all the animosity many children begin to feel towards their parents.This book, written by a psychologist, really helps explain WHY we need to be more tender and patient in our treatment of children!

I read this book for the first time 18 years ago. Every time I read it I am amazed at how perceptive it is. Whenever my husband and I deviated from the principles laid out in this book, we found trouble brewing. They are good, sound principles! If they worked with our strong-willed son, they might just be the key that you are looking for in relating to your own strong-willed child. I'll stay anonymous for my son's sake.

I have read many, many books on discipline and childrearing in my search for the "right" way to parent. I have been very stressed after reading so many books that say the "rod" is the Biblical way, and if you don't use it, you are being sinful. I feel such "freedom" after reading this book. It seems so "right". "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:12 I also found "How to Really Love Your Child" by Ross Campbell to be helpful.