Raising Children Who Think for Themselves

Page after page all made it clear that Dr. Medus really did her homework in putting together this great book on raising a confident and intrinsically successful child. Being a new father I find it a little daunting in being responsible (at least partially) for the behavioral molding of a human being. This book was a real eye opener is so many ways, from methods of dealing with conflict, to getting your child to accept his/her bedtime. In many instances I would finish reading a certain hypothetical scenario Dr. Medus had invented and think "wow that's exactly how I felt growing up!" Since my daughter is still only 6 months old I plan to reread this book many more times while she is growing up. I'd even recommend those without children to read it as it really hits home on how much our society is "externally directed" rather than internally.

This is a wonderful guide for parents and educators who are searching for techniques to help children avoid the pitfalls of "following the crowd." The author provides many practical strategies and "real life" examples of how to interact with children to prevent inadvertent development of an external locus of control. The suggestions are powerful and helpful to all adults who want to help children become independent thinkers in a world filled with challenges. Following the author's advice will enhance student development and improve parenting skills simultaneously.

The problmes that seem pervasive among youth today, from mindless consumerism and premature sex to school shootings and drug abuse, have raised an uproar on all sides, and the blame for these ills gets bounced around like a ping-pong ball!--TV, video games, lack of religion, rap music, and on and on. But Dr. Medhus, after hundreds of interviews with children from all kids of backgrounds, reaches the conclusion that the problems really all spring from a common source: personalities that react to outside forces rather than their own beliefs and morals. Laying out the difference between "externally directed" people who act according to impulses, peer pressure, and the fear of punishment, and "self-directed" people, who have been taught to think for themselves and follow their own consciences, she goes on to share parenting methods intended to encourage the introspection, empathy, and high self-esteem that gives self-directed children their ability to resist negative influences. The author discusses specific techniques for handling many kinds of situations, with rules and disciplinary measures that help kids understand why bad behavior is wrong, instead of shaming or scaring them into blind submission. Indispensible advice for parents seeking to inspire their kids to self-confidence, adventurousness, independence, competence, and the ability to make positive contributions to the world.--MZ

THIS BOOK IS A MUST-HAVE if you want your child to be independent, confident, responsible and able to make sound decisions without your constant hovering. If you read and incorporate its advice into your life, by the time your children reach adulthood, you will have done your job as a parent well. The author gives more practical suggestions for real-life situations than I've ever seen in any book on child-rearing, and is particularly helpful for those of us with children about to enter or in middle school/jr. high school. Dr. Medhus also explains how parents can encourage even younger children to be self-directed, so that many problems associated with adolescence can be avoided. If every parent can raise ONE self-directed child, the world will be a better place for us all.

I am the Grandmother of a wonderful (and willful) two year old who had her Mother baffled until she read this wonderful book. Upon reading the book our daughter began applying the techniques. Bother Mother and Daughter are happier (Daddy too). My husband and I have read the book and believe it will improve our Grandparenting skills as well. The techniques Dr. Medhus prescribes are practical. The practices set forth in this book are much like those we used as we raised our son and daughter (who very definitely think for themselves). Dr. Medhus skillfully, and with charm, articulates age-old truths in modern day language. I highly recommend this book for Parents and Grandparents alike.