Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next Generation of Exceptional Men

Some of the reviews are too black or white, particularly one where he talks about "grandpa's and uncles needed just not the father". I believe this is not what the author meant. I Think Boys (and girls) need the presence of a Father but sometimes the father is not involved in the situation, or his influence or presence can do more bad than good, without wanting to be simplistic a male who is violent or present a model of behavior we wouldn't want a growing boy to imitate. I think a mother can do her best and raise a great human being. I don't think the author is advocating for women to start raising kids without men.

It is inarguable that basic types of families in this country have changed drastically in the last few decades. Whether your politics are from the left or the right, whether you accept these new varieties of family with liberal openness, or reject them with conservative parsimony, you cannot dispute that they exist. As Peggy Drexler informs us in her book Raising Boys Without Men, "The U.S. Census Bureau recently reported that only 23.5 percent of households in the United States now contain...the Father Knows Best kind [of families], with a married mom and dad and their children." For those of you who are math challenged, that means less than a quarter of all homes have what we used to think of as a normal (i.e. the classic nuclear) family. Drexler also mentions that half of all marriages will end in divorce, and forty percent of babies are born out of wedlock (an interesting word which has nothing to do with padlocks, but rather comes from the Old English wedd for pledge and lâc, a suffix expressing activity). "The number of families headed by single mothers increased 25 percent between 1990 and 2000, to more than 7.5 million households." Plainly speaking, families are way more diverse than they used to be. Because advances in medicine and technology (artificial insemination, in vitro fertilization) have allowed for the role reduction of previously-thought-to-be-essential partners in reproduction (i.e. men), and because increasing numbers of women are either having children in lesbian couples; remaining as divorced and single parents; having children without getting married in the first place; adopting; or otherwise finding ways to have and raise children without men, an increasing number of families simply contain no male parent. Dr. Drexler refers to all of these kinds of mothers-without-men by the term "maverick moms." The book is explicitly intended to challenge the "tide of opinion and the research arguing that boys need fathers in order to grow to manliness." It is a laudable goal, and mostly Dr. Drexler succeeds. Apparently there are lots of folks out there who believe that without men around, the sons of maverick moms will become warped, perverted, sissified, or (any contradiction here?) "violent, drug-using hellions...boys who present no positive maleness, all due to the combination of Mom's presence and Dad's absence." The idea that "two women could raise a boy to a man without warping his manhood...challenges the preconceptions of social scientists, health care professionals, judges, politicians, pundits, and parents." One of my quibbles with the book is that too often, instead of citing actual and specific sources, Dr. Drexler cites vague things like "the tide of opinion," or "recent studies," or unnamed "researchers," which to my mind is too much like saying "people say that..." (or, only marginally better: "scientists say that"). I believe she does her thesis and her political position a disservice by being so f

The title of the book is inflammatory and will unfortunately keep alot of people from reading it. It's actually a fine bit of information about the state of the family and some central themes are: kids need more cool people in their lives (not specified by gender), kids need people who will love them and help them make good choices, and "collected" families are important. Remember that whole "it takes a village" concept? I didn't read the book at all as a put down of Dads... but a reminder to all of us that the children in our lives need more love and care -- moms, dads, grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles. Hard to argue with that. At the same time, as a Love and Logic and Brazelton parent, I found the information around kids raised in two parent families and single mom families to be valid and interesting. I'd been worried that I was babying my 5 year old too much and now I am able to see things in his decision making/logic and care for others that helps me understand he's going to be an amazing man.

As a single woman, I found this book very enlightening and well written. The research backs up's the authors findings. It is not only a great book for single moms, it also offers wonderful insight on good parenting for "traditional" families as well. Dr. Drexler is not biased, she reports the facts as she sees them. I would highly recommend this book as required reading for all types of families.

How can customers write "customer reviews" based on reading the title and not the book? I can see how the title here could lead people to make conclusions that simply aren't the case in the book, but read the book before making judgments. Drexler isn't on a feminist mission to exclude the world of men. She lays out convincing long-term research that shows that men are indeed vitally important. But family friends, stepdads, or real dads can nurture boys' masculinity just as effectively as a husband in the bedroom. I was raised by my mom after my father died when I was seven. It's about time moms like my mom, and boys like I was have their lives validated with real research instead of all the political ranting about what families should be like and how they should raise children. Bravo Dr. Drexler!