Queen of the Turtle Derby and Other Southern Phenomena

Wow, where do I start? I read this book in one sitting and laughed and cried while I was at it. Being from Arkansas myself, I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, "What would people think?" It was a mantra in my household, particularly when I was trying to do something as outrageous as leaving the house without lipstick. I turned about every other page over to show my husband later, so he would understand me better! I felt Ms. Reed presented both sides of the South well... the backward (and oft times embarrassing) ways, and the strong traditions and attitudes that make a real (positive) difference in a person's life. I bought it for my mom and her three sisters, as I knew they would laugh as hard as I did at how she nailed so many aspects of Southerners. I've also given this book to several young women, as I think it portrays the strength of Southern women. Ms. Reed finally gave me a way of explaining to blue-state Northerners (where I live now) why I'm so proud of being Southern.

I have been looking for a book like this for some time. If the "GRITS" series took it all a little too seriously for you, then pick up "Queen of the Turtle Derby" (this is a true 'you cant put it down' title). I was delighted to find a fellow southerner/ part-time new orleanian in love with the gulf coast, in love with the south, the food, the people, but with a sense of humor about it (doesnt being a southerner revolve around a sense of humor in the first place?). This is the book for the girl who choose NOT to be a debutante but who still holds a very special place in her heart for those who were. Its the book for those who grew up steeped in this culture, and possibly even rejected it at some point, but who realized later in life how much it is a part of who you are and now accept it with open arms, ready to laugh at any minute. Its incredibly smart, funny, and filled with unforgettable stories about friends, family, guns, booze, debs, food and pagents. Reed is an incredible writer and after enjoying her articles for years, I can only hope that there is a second book on the way. And she is welcome to parade in mobile anytime as the catfish queen!

It used to be thought that media, especially television, would produce a homogenized America, with accents becoming neutral and local color all blending into one American norm. It's true that a McDonald's here is pretty much the same as one there, and suburban sprawl seems the same everywhere. The South, however, is a truly peculiar place that will not be culturally assimilated, and if you don't believe it, check out _Queen of the Turtle Derby: And Other Southern Phenomena_ (Random House), a collection of comic essays by Julia Reed. Reed, a senior writer at _Vogue_ and a contributing editor at _Newsweek_, grew up in the Mississippi Delta, in Greenville, and now shuttles between New York and New Orleans. Naturally, as comic essayist, she does not concentrate on the problems of the South, but her funny reporting on the startling eccentricities and insistent traditions of her homeland is a joy to read. The darkest part of the South she covers, even if she does so with a grin, is the violence. A third of the nation's population lives in the South, and they commit 42% of all homicides. Serious crime has risen in the South, where it has gone down nationally. A simple explanation: "We shoot more people because we have the most guns." Elvis Presley took guns when he visited the White House. "I'm sure he didn't even think about it. He's going out, he's got his guns." When her father visited her in her apartment in New Orleans, he failed to mention the high ceilings or the fancy plasterwork or mantels. His one housewarming comment: "You need to get a gun." The title of the book comes from a turtle race, an annual event known as the Lepanto Terrapin Derby. Turtles race on a sixty foot course for an exciting fifteen minutes. There is a festival surrounding the event, and the climactic crowning of the Turtle Derby Queen. The South has such royalty all over, not just the traditional beauty pageant queens, but the Catfish Queen, Poultry Princess, Miss Pink Tomato or monarch over some other local point of pride. Southerners drink, and there is a chapter here on the bizarre history of Mississippi prohibition which included bootleggers of illegal whiskey paying legal taxes to ply their trade. Southerners eat. Personifying Southern hospitality, Reed gives here the recipes for George Jones Sausage Balls, which she got from the country singer himself, for that strange Southern misnomer the frozen tomato, and for fried chicken, although it won't be as good fried chicken as that from her own cook, Lottie Martin.There is, appropriately, a good deal about religion, too, including the story about the Arkansas governor who refused to sign a tornado relief bill because it referred to the tornado as an "act of God," and his God would never have done anything like that. Perhaps, as Reed points out, he needed refreshing on the earlier books of the Bible. Reed herself says that in New Orleans, there are mosquitoes, caterpillars with spines that are toxic e

I have read many of Julia Reed's magazine articles over the years but none as witty, charming and funny as her depiction of life in the South. It's the real deal, too. Hard too believe all that she writes is the truth, but it is. Take this book along to the beach (prefrerably the "Redneck Riveria") or on your summer vacation for a for a real treat!