Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads: Dealing with the Difficult Parents in Your Child's Life

My child's teacher suggested I read this book, after dealing with self righteous parents, who injected themselves into my child's life through their kids. Righteous parents are always confident that their kids are perfect and that they themselves are quintessential parent. I'm constantly amazed by parents who think that giving material things will compensate for not spending time with their children, and that staying out of their kids' business is projected as "democratic" parenting. However; this book opened my eyes to the fact that we need to let our kids fight their own battles sometimes. Being overly protective might send the message to our kids that they are not capable or strong enough to handle their problems. The trick is deciding when to step in and when to back off and this book will teach the trick to every parent who is open minded enough to admit that they are not perfect. The book taught me that I can't protect my child from all heart breaking experiences and that allowing her to go through the pain might help her become stronger as she grows up. Our children will encounter different bullies/situations throughout their lives. Sometimes we need to let them make their decisions and other times it is our duty to confront the adult bullies behind the young bullies in their lives. One other valuable new thing I learned from this book is that the game of bullying and authority struggles that we face as kids might extend to the parents' world. Dictator parents never grow up and seek to expand their authority through their kids to other parents. It is true that" the apple doesn't fall far from the tree". Our duty as parents is to not follow the dictator parents in our community who think that they can rule the world and bully teachers and other parents. This book is priceless; while other people harshly attack this book, please see for your self.

I have two elementary-aged girls and bought this book hoping it would help me communicate with other adults in their lives in a productive manner. Mrs. Wiseman injects humor, incorporates real-life stories from parents across the country and provides step by step how-to strategies for dealing with difficult situations. While you might have moved on from 7th grade you will be amazed by the number of folks who have not and these include your children's teachers, coaches, friend's parents, etc. At the very least this book helps you recognize some of the personalities you will encounter.

If you've ever tried to get involved in the PTA and wondered why you left feeling insecure about your abilities as a parent, winced at hearing a dad (or mom) comment loudly and negatively on the soccer abilities of 5-year-olds from the sidelines, or sat silently while the booster club is hijacked by a parent who's a bully, then you'll find much to appreciate in this book. A never-ending series of power plays among parents - the dramas that all of us see every day - are dramatically affecting our children and their schools, playing fields, and life skill development. Wiseman spotlights parents who live out their own insecurities through their kids. They push their children to take a whirlwind of classes, load them up with extra-curricular activities, and fret that it's not enough to gain admittance to the Ivy League. So it goes one step further - to bullying school administrators, blackballing other kids, and swooping in to rescue our children from the lessons they desperately need to learn on their own. It's no surprise to see her expertly slice and dice the undercurrents surrounding a Queen Bee Mom and her posse, as they turn a cold shoulder to the new parent stumbling into the book fair planning committee. Wiseman also wrote Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence, the landmark New York Times bestseller on relational aggression in girls. Several personas - from Caveman Dad to Hovercraft Mom, flit through the pages. They're not labels per se - but tools that help us understand our own roles and behaviors. There is no prissy-footing or tip-toeing around the big issues here. The book offers solid advice with scripts to help parents stand up and build a culture of civility and respect that helps all our children. She encourages parents to challenge the often aggressive, inappropriate, and plain over-the-top behavior exhibited by many parents today. It's a field guide in handling uncomfortable conversations between parents and adults who care about children. For example, a dad overhears a couple of women calling his daughter a slut because of how she is dressed. For most parents - the options that immediately come to mind are to start a shouting match with the women, or to slink off in silence. In reality - the dad didn't like the way his daughter was dressed, and would like for her to dress differently - and was struggling in his relationship with her. Wiseman offers a scripted conversation to guide how the dad could approach these women, state what he overheard, and ask for the situation he'd like to see happen instead. And the reader is not off the hook, either. Wiseman encourages all of us to reflect on our own behaviors and motivations, and consider how we can be part of a community that values its members, treats people with dignity, and supports our children. The conversational and warm tone make for easy reading. Although the book talks directly to pare

I just read Rosalind Wiseman's new book, and I was nothing short of thoroughly impressed. I can really think of no genre of literature that gives me a headache quite like parenting self-help books, But I found Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads to be extremely enjoyable, in addition to being an incredibly honest, funny, and effective strategy guide for dealing with a host of situations in my life now that I'm a parent. I was particularly taken aback by "EStark" and her review below, which lambasted Wiseman for not having the credentials to discuss the topic, or even having kids. I would like to point out to Ms. Stark (whose opinion I question because she has not taken the time to validate her own claims) that from very minimal internet research one will find that Rosalind Wiseman has taught kids across the country for 15 years through the non-profit anti-bullying organization she started. She also is married and has two children. In reading the book it couldn't be more clear that she has both done her homework and more than anything is able to do something so few of us are willing to in our social circles, even as grown-ups--to acknowledge that sometimes we treat one another the worst under the guise of playing nice. I would recommend this book to anyone with children. Truly insightful!

Ms. Wiseman first offered parents a guide to help daughters successfully navigate "girl world" in a previous book. The Mean Girls movie that followed educated millions more about fallout from relational aggression. Now she returns to a new aspect of familiar territory--essential but aggressive adults around your child who can derail both you and her. Their strategies aren't so different than the ones used everyday in the halls of middle school, just a bit more polished and poisonous. The next time your child isn't chosen for a part in the school play you know she deserved, run to this book where you're bound to find an explanation. It's wisdom will help many readers find a steady seat for their kids and themselves in the roller coaster world of middle school.