Putting God on the Guest List, Third Edition: How to Reclaim the Spiritual Meaning of Your Child's Bar or Bat Mitzvah

When I told a friend that my son was preparing for his Bar Mitzvah, she handed me the greatest gift, Rabbi Salkin's book, Putting God on the Guest List. While financial security is a wonderful thing it has also given rise to unforeseen consequences in my opinion. Case in point is what has happened to Bar and Bat Mitzvahs in the last 10 years or so. Since growing up in the 50's when I attended many Bar Mitzvahs, I have watched in utter amazement how this seminal event has turned from an obvious cause for family and friend celebration into 3 day gatherings that you'd expect to see only on "The Rich and Famous." When did Bar and Bat Mitzvahs turn into storybook weddings and is this all really necessary or desirable? I knew in my heart it was not. Fortunately, reading this book gave me the conviction and inspiration to take back the reins and create a celebration that had all of the magic ingredients that worked for our family where I focused on keeping the meaning of the event central while still providing a space for true joyful celebration. Thank you Rabbi Salkin!

In the frenzy of preparing for the big day, it can be easy to lose the focus and meaning of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Many kids may wonder "What is this really all about? Why am I doing this?" This inspiring, clearly-written book urges kids to think about the deeper meaning of the ceremony and of being a Jew. The emphasis is on spirituality and being mindful of God's presence everyday. I especially liked the section with suggestions and resources for acts of tzedakah as well as little mitzvahs.

There are any number of books which are designed to help you plan the logistics of a bar/bat mitzvah. This book's main purpose, however, is not to be a party planning guide. Instead, this book reaffirms the important commitment a bar/bat mitzvah makes to Judism. A party is fine but truly connecting with God, our people and our ancestors is what the experience is all about. The bar/bat mitzvah experience is explored in a very spiritual, meanful way but not necessarily from the orthodox standpoint. Indeed, the authors are non orthodox. I recommend this book to all who wish to make the bar/bat mitzvah a meaningful means to grow as a Jew rather than as an end in itself.

This version of Putting God on the Guest List is the perfect companion to the adult version. We liked it so much that we started a fund at our synagogue so that every child beginning the bar or bat mitzvah process receives a copy. In an era where the party has become more important than the ritual, this book help focus a child on the religious importance of his coming of age. A wonderful read.

This book should be read by every parent whose child is approaching bar/bat mitzvah. Too often, the significance of the occasion is lost in the "big party". This book focuses on what is important about the bar/bat mitzvah-about accepting responsibilities such as study and performing mitzvot, about the service and about keeping the celebration in perspective. It focuses on the spiritual as it should and helps pull away from the social aspects that often overwhelm the true meaning of bar/bat mitzvah.