Pretending to Be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome

I have a son that was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which is a mild form of autism. It has been a challenge to keep him on track, for this syndrome is not a mental retardation, but it affects their social skills and how they react to people. I try to see things through his perspective as much as I can, but this book really helped. Theirs is a different world from ours, but not so different that they can't be very productive members of society. In fact, there is a theory that says the stereotyped 'nutty professors', brilliant people that slave away alone in laboratories and universities might have been people afflicted with this syndrome. This book does give valuable insight on the thoughts and mind workings of these unique people. If there is someone in your life with Asperger's, I urge you to read this book.

My 9-yr-old son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome after five very frustrating years spent in public school trying to figure out "what was wrong" with him. When he was diagnosed, I had never even heard of Asperger's Syndrome, however, when I was 6 I was diagnosed with Hyperactivity, ADD, "Autism-like-tendencies", "anti-social behaviors" and aggressive personality disorder (along with having an IQ over 130) I have been researching Asperger's Syndrome to try and help my son, but reading this book was like reading my own autobiography. In my egocentric way of thinking, I have thought for over 40 years that I was the only adult who had these personality quirks, social interaction difficulties and problems with skills and coordination, etc. I just assumed that these were personality flaws that I should be able to conquer. I wish that I could meet the author, give her a hug and tell her "hey---I am just like you." This book is a MUST for teachers, nurses, social workers and school counselors who work with autistic and Asperger's children--it gives an insight into Asperger's like no other book on this subject that I have ever read.

Our family has lived with this book for two years. Along with Tony Attwood's book it has been instrumental in helping my wife and me help our son to find his way at a very difficult time in his life. Following a collapse at college he told us in his deep depression, "You don't know me..." This was in part true. The diagnosis of a relative's son prompted us to investigate the subject of Asperger's Syndrome, which we had never heard of. We were fortunate in discovering a local AS support group and attending a conference at which which Tony Attwood spoke. We purchased his book along with Willey's. They were both revelatory, but turning the pages of "Pretending to be Normal" was like opening windows into our son's world through which we had never been able to see. For our son, like the author, had fought a brave but doomed battle as a "high-functioning Aspie" maintaining the pretense that he was "neurologically typical." The author's first-hand description of the world from the strange, sometimes disorienting, always interesting perspective of the individual with AS is invaluable in helping parents, teachers and friends to understand the problems as well as the unique assets of the aspie. The fact that she may well be at the "high end of the spectrum" of those affected with the condition ought not to diminish the usefulness of her insights. I bristle with annoyance when reviewers of this book express doubt that the author can be an "Aspie" simply because she is articulate and caring. To say that only those most severely affected by AS can be taken seriously as having the condition is analogous to deciding that only those with life-threatening cancers should receive treatment. Liane Willey's remarkable success in her struggle as a highly intelligent, talented, and energetic woman with Asperger's Syndrome to lead a full, productive, and happy life should be an inspiration to all in the AS community--Aspies themselves along with their parents, friends and teachers. Thanks in no small part to her insights we have been able to provide our son with the guidance he needs begin to bridge the gap between the AS and NT ("neurotypical") worlds and to graduate from an Ivy League college this spring.

Liane Willey takes the reader, for the first time, into the world of someone who is very mildly Aspergers. While there are many biographies of high functioning autistics out there, this is the first to address a group whose needs are even less well understood. This book enabled me to understand my 7 year old AS son for the first time, a way I never could by merely reading autism related books. Her memiors are filled with humor, sadness and pain, but; no remorse, or bitterness. It is an acceptance of yet another of life's curveballs. I believe her motivation is to tell others with AS (or their parents) to work with the hand dealt you---it may yet be the four kings (or queens) you were looking for!