Positive Pushing: How to Raise a Successful and Happy Child

I read a fair amount of parenting books and, sad to say, many of them are little more than either "psycho-babble" or books on how to manipulate your child. Positive Pushing is a wonderfully balanced look at this little discussed aspect of childhood; raising your children to be successful. Dr. Taylor does a very thorough job of defining what true success is. He also does a very thorough job of delineating what the parental responsibilities are. I love the way he makes clear (throughout the book)how the parents themselves need to engage in defining their own values as well as resolving their own issues. This "parenting from the inside out" approach ensures that the parent does not work out his/her unresolved parental issues through their child, which, sadly, describes many, many parents. One of the main themes that underpines his work is "what is in the best interests of the child." If we, as a society, had our child(ren)'s best interest in the forefront of our thinking, how different our world would look! Parents would do well to read this book together, especially as their children approach school age. Yet, this book can be read and appreciated by parents who have children in the later grades. Caution: This is not a book one can just breeze through and "get." Dr. Taylor has buttressed his contention that children need to be positively pushed with a plethora of research, some longitudinal. He's done is homework, obviously, and the net result is this masterpiece that is destined to be an all-time classic in parenting literature. A book I will continue to consult, both as a parent and as a (one day) counselor. As solid a book as you will ever read on child rearing.

Jim Taylor has illuminated the common sense middle ground between controlling parents who exert unhealthy pressure on their children to achieve and laissez-faire parents who make no demands out of fear of harming their children's "self-esteem." He does not gloss over subtleties and distinctions in parent-child interactions, and he supports his positions with copious references to research. At the same time, Positive Pushing is a readable, practical guide, full of helpful, specific suggestions. As a parent, I found this the most balanced, relevant and useful book on child-rearing to appear in a long time.

This is an astoundingly good book. There is more common sense and sound advice between its covers than I have seen in 40 years of reading on child psychology and parenting strategies. (I am a retired school Headmaster, teacher, and coach of world-class athletes). Positive Pushing has special relevance to parents of 'high achievers', but it is equally valuable for all parents who simply want to help their children be the best they can be. Dr. Taylor focuses on developing value systems, a strong work ethic, self-confidence, ownership, responsibility, self-respect, etc. But this is no 'feel good book.' Dr. Taylor insists that kids must DO POSITIVE THINGS in order to feel good about themselves and to become constructive and successful adults. There is no 'psycho babble' in this book. It is all plain English and common sense. Parents are coached on how to teach their kids that one of the true joys in life is experiencing the process of achieving. Here are some quotes that should whet a reader's appetite: 'A funny thing happens when you raise the bar. People find a way to get over it, once they realize it is expected. Human beings can do amazing things -- if they're asked to.' 'Positive pushing emphasizes creating options for children from which they can choose a direction, and stressing that doing nothing is not an option.' 'You need to strike a balance between giving your child the first push toward achievement in terms of direction, opportunities and resources, and then stepping back and enabling her to to find her own personal connection with the activity. Your involvement must shift from direction and guidance to encouragement and freedom.' This is good stuff. Dr. Taylor draws on many years of experience working with athletes and parents from little league moms to olympic team members -- and also dancers, artists and musicians. The author does a good job of integrating basic principles with real-life examples. I think this book should be read by children age 13 or older as well as by their parents. I have encouraged Headmaster friends to make POSITIVE PUSHING required summer reading for all of their teachers and coaches, and to strongly urge all of their parents to read it as well. In short, this is MUST READING for anyone who is interested in raising successful and happy children. Learn more about his book at its web site.

In today's world of overscheduling kids and trying to help them achieve success and compete, parents finally have a clear set of guidelines about when to push kids and when to back off. Dr. Taylor writes with a wonderful combination of expertise and common sense. He doesn't "tell" parents how to structure their kids' lives. He offers practical and proven information that makes the choices of how and when to "push" kids easier to make.He addresses the issues of self esteem, time management, and helping a child maintain a sense of ownership over his or her own life and accomplishments. This is a book every parent should have who wants to help their child succeed not only in the eyes of the world, but in their own eyes, which is what makes the difference.

Dr. Taylor's book will guide parents of children from infancy to adulthood in establishing a healthy, nourishing, intelligent relationship with their children. Positive Pushing clearly defines the art of parenting that makes it possible for children to discover their best selves and thrive. It may be too early to declare that this is the best guide for parents ever written, but I know of none better. I am the father of four boys and a friend of Dr. Taylor's, and his wisdom has been of tremendous value to me and my family.