Positive Discipline: The First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident

The authors of this remarkable parenting resource parallel discipline with teaching a child, and punishment with shaming a child. The emphasis of their philosophy is placed on physical and emotional readiness as well as on respecting a child as an individual capable of making choices about his/her behavior. As a child grows into an autonomous individual, parents often struggle to find their place. This resource lays out practical solutions for guiding a child to make good choices and being responsible for those choices at an early age. All of the strategies suggested by Nelsen, et. al. focus on raising a positive, happy child who feels taught, rather than shamed for his/her poor choices. The result is a child who views making a mistake as a learning experience rather than a permanent wrongdoing. This book, and the accompanying series, has become a useful resource to me in parenting my own child, but it has been equally assistive in my career as an educator. The philosophy of the authors is logical, simple, and easy to implement. It puts a positive twist on discipline and encourages healthy growth in a happy, predictable, and well-adjusted environment.

First of all, let me say that nowhere in this book do the authors advocate weaning by twelve months or letting a baby "cry it out," as some reviewers claimed. If it did, I would have put it down right away in the bookstore and not bought it. If it seemed to clash with Attachment Parenting, a style I am fond of and have used for most of my daughter's nearly three years, I also would have been less inclined to read it. But it doesn't do any of those things. As far as nursing, it merely encourages mothers to watch their children for signs of readiness to wean, instead of forcing a pre-determined schedule for weaning (whether it be at three months or three years). I know several people whose children weaned themselves around one year, so I think there is some truth to the idea that some babies are ready to wean then. I personally nursed my daughter until just over two, so I am not biased against extended nursing. And neither are the authors--they just say to find resources such as La Leche League and other books to discuss nursing, weaning, and extended nursing further. This is not their area of expertise, and they do not claim it to be. As far as Attachment Parenting (AP), this book makes no reference to it, period. Some reviewers have said that it is pro-AP and some said it is against-AP. I can't find evidence of either. As I said, I raised my daughter so far strongly guided by the principles of AP. However, she is almost three, and I feel that I need some other philosophies to guide me in my choices. I have not read The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears, but from what I hear it is like most of his books and a bit repetitive of information in all of his books (many of which I have read). I needed a new approach, so I came to the Positive Discipline camp. To quote the book, "The key is a balance that meets the needs of everyone concerned. A baby should not be left in a playpen or infant seat too long, and a parent should not feel like a slave to his or her child." Furthermore, they say, "When in doubt, always trust your heart." Now how does this conflict with Attachment Parenting? I personally felt like a slave to my child many times when strictly following the guidelines of AP. I am not at all of the mindset that babies should toughen up or learn to soothe themselves at a young age, but there are times in life when we as parents need a break--like to shower, cook a meal, tend to another child, or go to the bathroom alone. This book helps parents find that balance. This book is very helpful in demonstrating age appropriateness. It helps to be reminded that a toddler's brain is not like ours, and that they are not capable of understanding concepts that we think they should. There are several ways the author suggests to see for yourself, and that is extremely helpful. To acknowledge this is not insulting to my or my child's intelligence (as one reviewer said); it is honoring it. Humans have extremely complex brains and it takes

I found this a great source to understanding a toddler's world, how very young children see the world and how they don't understand things the way adults think they do. The discipline methods this book teaches work great, I get a much better response with positive discipline than with any negative or passive methods (yelling, demanding, time-outs, etc). Even if you don't happen to like the methods in this book, it's very helpful for understanding your child and not expecting things from them that aren't age-appropriate.

This book is so helpful. It discusses why time out is not appropriate for children ages 3 and under and why children don't always understand things they way that we adults do. I'm surprised to have read in another review that this book was not helpful for young children who can't talk. I am wondering if the reviewer got this book mixed up with Nelsen, Erwin, and Duffy's other book "Positive Discipline for Preschoolers". The covers have the same colors and block style, but different titles and different info. on the inside. I can't recall any info. in any of the Positive Discipline that discusses reasoning with a child. Nelsen, Erwin and Duffy promote joint problem solving for preschoolers on a novice level in their book on preschoolers. This book promotes the importance of childproofing and supervision and explains vital child development information.

Every parent should be given this book to read as soon as they find out they are pregnant. Being educated about a child's stage of emotional, social, psychological, and physical development is the first step to becoming aware of what your child needs from you as a role model. This book is easy to read and puts the psychological mumbo-jumbo into easy to understand jargon and gives practical examples as to how you should implement these disciplinary approaches. This book is not about trying to reason with a child before they have the ability to reason, but is about understanding the stages of development your child will go through. If more parents took the time to understand these stages, there would be less frustrated parents out there. The entire series is a must have for any parent, teacher, or child care professional