Please Understand Me: Character and Temperament Types

I am an INTJ, and always wondered why everyone wasn't like me. Well, it turns out that I make up less than 1% of the population, and this book was a great help in helping people to understand me, but also in giving me the information I need to realize that everyone is different, and everyone needs to be understood in a different manner. What might make total sense to an INTJ, might really hurt someone else's feelings. And getting passionate about an illogical point in an arguement completely backfires when dealing with someone like me. Everyone is different, and this books helps to at least start defining those differences into 16 general personality types. Now, there is still a ton of differences within a single type, but getting to 1 of 16 is a great start at dealing with those around you, as well as giving them some insight into your personality as well.

Keirsey's explanation of the different temperaments was a real eye-opener for me. Finally I understand why people get upset with certain of my character traits, and why I always felt so misunderstood by some people. It was a big relief to know that after all, I'm "normal", and so are the others. Where there used to be resentment on my or the others' part, we now knowingly smile at each other, saying "ah, there shows your J again, can't help it, can you?" Keirsey introduces us to four basic opposite tendencies in temperament, then describes the temperaments, and applies this to the areas of relationships, work, children, and learning.The book starts with a questionnaire that you can take to determine your type. I would strongly advise not to just read the part about your own type, though. The real aha effect comes when you read about the others, too. You won't even need everyone to take the test, you'll know just by what you've read what types you're dealing with. It's fun to realize our differences and see them in a new light.

I'll try to keep it short- the negative reviewers must not have really read this incredible book. I read it in 1980 while in college and found out the reason why I always felt like an "alien" in grade school even though I was popular. Reading about my ENTP temperament finally allowed me to appreciate parts of myself and not compare myself to all my SJ and SP friends! It even made me appreciate a family member that before I thought I'd never get along with. I mistook her non-verbal personality as hostile- then she took the test and I found out she was an ISFP- I felt like I was looking into her very (artistic) soul as I read the words that described her exactly. Now I value her deeply. I've given this book to many friends who all agree with me that above any other "self helper" none other even comes close to the insight this offers. I'm using it with my high school students this spring. (Thanks Xerox!)

I teach in the business department of a community college, and I have recommended and loaned this book to over 50 students over the past decade. (This is why I'm about to purchase my 20th-22nd copies of this book. It gets stolen.) Students of varying ethnic backgrounds have found this book useful. It helps in career direction, understanding roadblocks in school and in personal relationships and it is particularly useful in dealing with work relationships. I find it invaluable as a framework for seeing situations from the viewpoints of others and to give me the courage to accept my own views even when they are not the same as the views of my colleagues. Some of my students have resisted the book's whiny title. I tell them it should be titled: How to be successful and insightful, even when dealing with difficult people and situations, at work and at home.