Perfectly Normal: Living and Loving with Low Libido

This book helped me understand my wife's libido fairly well. I also highly recommend Sandra's other book about Libido Types. These books together helped me clear up some misunderstandings I had about womens' sexualtiy. Because on the one hand you hear about women that are into sex and on the other hand you hear about how women need so many other needs met before they are interested. Well, I guess both opinions are right because as the author points out (I believe correctly) that there is so much more variety in womens' sexuality than in mens'. By the way the author claims to have 30 years experience as a sex therapist and it shows. She is thoughtful, reasonable, and even handed. She explains to us guys that by expecting your wife to have sex with you, you are actually turning her off more. This was a very important insight for me. Hopefully it will prove true.

Well written and a fast read. The content is excellent. Both low and high libido folks will appreciate the tips and explanations of the problems, conflicts, etc. A must read for couples fighting over mismatched libidos.

This book is a must for any woman of any age who worries there is something wrong with her because she doesn't have hot, lusty feelings for sex, or who often finds breast or genital stimulation is a turn off rather than a turn on if she is not already relaxed and feeling intimate. It's nice to know this is "perfectly normal" for many women, and Sandra explains why so many women feel that way. She doesn't promise to have the solutions for you to get these lusty feelings, but then, as she says, no sex therapist can or should make this promise. Instead, she gently supports you to not be discouraged by this but to explore your own sexuality, and to find your own reasons for wanting sex. She shows you the way to break the vicious negative cycle you and your partner have been in, and to confidently build a good sex life together. Once you have read it, get your partner to read it as well.

This is the first book I have read on women's sexuality, of many read, that accurately described my sexuality, gently and clearly explained the aversive cycle my partner and I had shifted into, and put it all in a way that he could understand and relate to. It's probably going to take a while for us to heal, but I feel hope in a way I haven't for a long time. I had resigned myself to the quality of our sexual relationship being an impasse we had to accept. Thank you for writing this Sandra.