Perfection

I had read the preview and thought this book looked fascinating. When it arrived, I simply wanted to check out the first page, intending to get to it later, but after one page, I couldn't stop reading. I'll just read a few chapters...and then I still couldn't stop reading. I read it in one setting. And that was a commitment, it's over 300 pages long. I neglected the dirty house. Neglected my other job. Fed my daughter leftovers and let her watch TV so I could finish this book! The story was just riveting and written in a manner that makes you forget the writing and just concentrate on the story. The Summary of the book says it all, "Every wife's worst nightmare. In the aftermath of her husbands death, one woman discovers her life has been a lie." I don't want to give away details - I'll just say, "You want a good read? You'll love this book!" Oh and I must say, Julie Metz, the author, did an excellent job designing the cover - This is one of the few books where the cover genuinely draws the reader into the story.

Whew, what is there to say about this memoir? It drained my emotions several times, and I mean that in a good way. Ms. Metz poured her heart out here, and it was hardly for naught. Julie Metz is in her office when she hears a heavy thud. Continuing her work, she doesn't think much of it. Then all of a sudden, her mind rewinds and she itemizes all of the things it wasn't. She runs into the kitchen and finds her husband Henry on the floor. She calls 911 and breathes into him, but he cannot be saved. Over the course of the next few days, her house becomes a parking lot for friends and family to aid her and her 7 year old daughter Liza. She hears a woman in Henry's office shriek shrilly but doesn't think much of it, as immersed in her grief as she is. Yet it comes back to her later. Going through the motions of returning to her schedule for her daughter's sake, Julie can't eat, she isn't sleeping well and she's being visited by Henry's spirit. Six months later, a friend of both Julie and Henry tells her that Henry was unfaithful. This revelation understandably cuts to the core, but it's just the tip of the iceberg. There wasn't one liaison, there were several. As there were several women. When Julie finds out just how close to home his betrayals came, her bite is sharp. As she digs through the evidence of infidelities of the man she thought she knew and gave herself wholly to, there is much fury, pain, and most surprisingly, a curiosity that seeks to understand and almost forgive him these slaps in the face from him. It's almost like she stepped out of the pain and hurt she felt to try to understand a reason for this need of his and forgive, in such a way that shows how lucky he was to have her and what a mistake he made in seeking solace and comfort elsewhere. The third section of the book shows Julie trying to pick up and put back together the pieces of her life, delving into dating again. The shock of the new way of dating (ahem: Match.com) is shocking to her as she met Henry in 1986, and was married to him until 2003. The trials and tribulations of her dating explorations are something many of us may have felt if we've ever gone the path of words and email before an official meeting. The memoir is heavy, no doubt about that. There won't be many laughs reading it, but there's not a bitter tinge to it you might expect from a topic like this. You root for her because she's genuinely likable and honest about herself, her shortcomings and flaws, and her better attributes. Ms. Metz was not throwing herself a pity party in writing her tale. I can only imagine and hope this was a cathartic therapy session for Ms. Metz

Anyone who has ever had their heart broken over a spouse's extramarital affair must read this book. You think you had it bad? Julie Metz couldn't even confront her husband about his affairs, because she didn't find out about them until six months after he passed away in front of her eyes. She eschews the normal internal struggle to find a sense of closure and instead makes the process external, by tracking down each of the women he had been carrying on with in order to confront them. The resulting story is a heart-wrenching but beautifully told journey into a second phase of life that everyone should be lucky enough to find.

Julie Metz has written a memoir that will take your breath away, from the initial, unexpected death of her husband to the postmortem revelation of his many affairs. Metz's style is both intimate and literary, elevating the central drama of her life to a meditation on the nature of human need and fallibility. In exposing her own grief, rage, vulnerability and audacity, Metz allows us to connect deeply and emotionally with her story. Her need to understand what happened in her marriage leads her to confront the women in her dead husband's past, which ultimately gives her the opportunity to see herself more fully. In this powerful and empowering tale, raw grief and righteous anger finally give way to forgiveness, acceptance and new love.

Reading "Perfection; A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal" made me realize how many of us walk through our suburban streets totally unaware of what goes on behind the manicured hedges of our neighbors. Metz's memoir is a transparent peek inside one perfect neighbor's window. But a real neighbor. A real woman. A real family. Her book is an easy to read, hard to put down story of the experience of love, betrayal, and the ultimate re-examination of everything she thought she wanted. I couldnt put the book down as I followed her through her discovery process, not only of her husband's hidden past but also of her own desires. As a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, I think this book is a realistic and well written account of what happens when infidelity cracks open everything one thinks is real. Buy the book today!