Paths of Life: Seven Scenarios

I have read almost all Alice Miller's books and all of them have been incredibly helpful in my recovery from the confusions and pain of my childhood. Paths of Life is in many ways different from the rest of them. For me, most valuable has been the fact that here, Miller describes lives of ordinary people like you or me. It's not about psychologically torn writers or dictators but about people that had 'ordinary' childhoods (with various level of neglect, some spanking) and struggled in their lives to make sense out of them. These people succeed because they are willing to question their parents' intentions and abilities and they are able to uncover the truth about their childhoods. I could relate to their undestanding and learn about how they healed. For example, one of the stories is about how to speak to one's parents as a grown adult without accusations, another story is about two Holocaust survivors who want to find their identity. Many of these stories also deal with how denial of one's childhood expresses itself in illnesses of the body. This topic is wonderfully covered in her latest book The Body Never Lies which I also strongly recommend.

should be required reading for all parents-to-be!

This is my fourth book by Miller, having recently finished 'For Your Own Good' and 'Thou Shalt Not Be Aware.' Those works were hard hitting and unrelenting ('ferocious' said one reviewer) and for me that was what made them so effective. I found 'Paths of Life' to be weak reading at times, and if I had not read Miller's earlier more strident work, I don't know if I could have appreciated what she was trying to do here, with models of healing built from the realizations of our past injuries. I truly love Miller's message, as painful as it is at times to me personally, and I believe time will show her to be a prophet. Just the same, this book does not convey her message the most effectively and I don't recommend it as a starting point for her ideas. So, why did I give it 5 stars? The closing chapter of the book, 'What is Hatred' is one of the most powerful and coherent looks yet at what happened in Nazi Germany. Miller recognizes the value of works like Goldhagen's, while pointing out how he too misses the mysterious question of why did the holocaust happen, why then, and why Germany? Miller's buring insight into this, the greatest mystery of our century, is worth the price of this book alone. She offers some explanation of the unexplainable. I could not put the book down during this closing essay. Highly recommended.

Paths of Life: Seven Scenarios, Alice Miller, Pantheon Book, New York, 1998 Paths of Life: Seven Scenarios is Alice Miller's optimistic project about human interactions and their potential for healing. This new book is the first in seven years, and the eighth overall, by the former psychoanalyst and author of an unbroken string of classics. The seven scenarios consist of seven chapters of imaginary encounters between mature adults, and illustrate honest communications based on new awareness. The characters describe their lives--their environments, their successes and failures--and how they came to terms with them. Also included are expert opinions on parenting, psychotherapy, gurus and cult leaders, and the nature of hatred. Dr. Miller's seven scenarios are about handling life and changing things for the better, and are intended to inform people and to encourage them to think. These imaginative encounters illustrate ways in which tackling sensitive interpersonal issues directly can clear the air and bring a feeling of liberation for both sides--and sometimes make the unexpected happen. Miller freely admits that this latest project arose from a wish to spare others what she herself has suffered, and reflects her old yearning for a genuine form of communication. Her intention is to explore how early experiences of suffering and love affect people's later lives, and the ways they relate to others; her hope is that this material will serve as a stimulus for organized inquiry. Embedded in the text are many timely teachings, reflecting her notion that "information is everything" (p. 35)--that information, at the right time, can set off a valuable process of reflection. Should adult-children forgive their parents for maltreatment during childhood? As mature adults we can feel our pain and thereby increase authentic understanding--of ourselves, of our parents, and of the complexities of life. Feeling and understanding, argues Miller, differ markedly from blaming and forgiveness. We need to take full responsibility in our relationships, including those with our parents. As adults, we are autonomous. No longer are there any real dangers in confronting one's parents. The "gift of truth" can sometimes, though not always, change things for the better. Concerning the primal therapies, Miller displays an informed and cautious optimism. She rightfully condemns those charlatans who would claim complete cure via regression, and their "theories" which--despite their scientific facade-- have absolutely nothing to do with science (p. 147). The goal of genuine therapy is, quite simply, the liberation of individual patients from their suffering. Resolving one's childhood issues is essential. Old patterns need to be properly worked through in a safe and reliable relationship, in the presence of someone who is genuinely sympathetic and willing to listen. It is entirely unacceptable for therapists t

Paths of Life is that rarest of creatures--a book that at once both touches and teaches. Alice Miller knows of what she writes. She was the first person (way back in the 1950s) to make the connection between corporal punishment and emotional dysfunction. She continues to prove her insightfulness with this latest book.