Pain and Pretending

Rich Buhler's book demonstrates compassion & understanding for people who have suffered all forms of abuse, esepcially those who have been sexually violated. He uses word pictures through the use of true stories of victims offering hope, healing & reconciliation to oneself, others & forgiveness toward the perpetrator(s). I've just completed reading the book to an 89 year old friend of mine who was raped when he was eleven but never told anyone for 76 years. It is wonderful to watch him heal. Ever so gradually he is moving toward forgiving his perpetrtor. Seeing him heal is truly a gift. I'd recommend this book to anyone seeking healing for themselves.

Once I got past page 46, I found great value in this book. I have been working my recovery program for several years and would recommend this book to anyone already in recovery for awhile. I would not recommend it to the beginner because it is written in an informational rather than emotional style. In my opinion, the beginner should read more of the emotional 'stories' that can help them face their own painful reality that comes with the realization of sexually abuse in childhood. The main context of this book is that we deserve good, but a victim cannot hear, believe, understand, nor apply the concept of deserving good. It also addresses the idea of forgiveness in a way which can be understood. Forgiveness has been the most difficult part of my journey, and is the project I'm working on at the moment, so the presentation on this subject was especially helpful to me. Each victim must determine for self what route will help them become a survivor. Recovery is not easy, but it is possible. At best it's a long, slow, and painful journey which must be travelled in one way or another. Read the book, take what suits your need & leave the rest. Good luck.

A Christian approach to dealing with several forms of childhood abuses (physical, emotional, sexual) and is a great tool in causing adult victims to move on. Powerful chapter on forgiveness is worth the whole book. Readers do not have to have abuse in their histories to benefit from the book. Good for recovery and counseling library.