Overcoming Loneliness in Everyday Life

I was expecting something of an antidote to Robert Punam's "Bowling Alone", a classic study of the increasing isolation and loneliness of American life. And it something of an antidote, but not the whole thing. Essentially Drs. Olds and Schwartz repeat Putnam's message and tell us that getting out and performing shared activities will help most of us. Yes, they spend quite a bit of time in this relatively short book reviewing the situation, but the bottom line is go out and meet people. It is good advice, but there's a rub to it. A lot of people carry a lot of baggage in their lives and cannot simply follow this simple prescription. That is where the real value of this slim volume is. The authors recognizes that there are obstacles and they discuss them and the possible workarounds, including psychotherapy, drugs and support groups. The latter chapter, titled "The Small Group Phenomenon" is quite interesting. There are five chapters on "Making Connections", two of them focused on singles: one for childless, the other for single parents. The other three deal with marriage and other long-term commitments, making extended families work and networking in the neighborhood. They all boil down to the same thing: to overcome loneliness, you must become involved with other people. As anyone who has experienced loneliness can tell you, the advice is simple, but the implementation not necessarily so. The authors attempt to close the gap between perception, expectation and overcoming the problem. In a way, I feel this book is more for the practitioner than the layperson. The layperson may benefit more from something entitled "1,000 Ways To Meet People". "Overcoming Loneliness" takes a somewhat clinical approach and provides a lot of background on the whys and wherefores of loneliness, but doesn't necessarily offer the quick fix that a book containing a little encouragement and lots of ways to meet people might offer. Not a bad book in any way, but probably more appreciated by the practitioner or thinking person. Jerry

I highly recommend this book to just about everybody. I am a child psychiatrist who Dr. Olds taught with as much common sense and kindness as she includes in her book. Lonliness pervades our lives today and this book gives you both an understanding of it and of how to address it.