Outwitting Neighbors: A Practical and Entertaining Guide to Achieving Peaceful Coexistence with the People Next Door

I got this book as a gag gift, but once I read it, it did help me learn to find common ground with bad neighbors, and accept that many times the devil you know (and can endure/work with) is better than the devil you don't know. I agree with other reviewers, who note that most of the book is comprised of horror stories designed for reader support and sympathy.However, the examples add up to a powerful and useful message: (1) When trying to resolve neighbor problems, the fastest way to make an *enemy* is to indicate that you know better than they how to run their lives. (2) The fastest way to get results is to accept the neighbors for who they are, and then explain to them how their behavior (or their kids/pets/etc.) will lead to a behavior of your own.My own story: One of my neighbors has a dog (a big adult Weimaraner) who was allowed to run unleashed in a shared apartment-building yard space, which literally is in violation of the lease. And when I would park my car or use my garage, the dog would charge me, and once came very close to taking a chunk out of my leg. Now, I could have yelled, or beaten the dog with a tire iron, but that would of course have made an enemy of the neighbors, who otherwise are very nice people. Even worse, it wouldn't really solve the problem, which is bad pet ownership and training!So, after consulting Adler's book, I left a note for the neighbors (copied to our landlord) which indicated that I respected their decisions on how to train their dog, but that I would have Mace in my pocket at all times. So, the next time that their unleashed dog (or any others) attacked, I would have to disable the dog but leave no permanent harm. After all, the dog is just being protective, however misguided the effort. Well, lo and behold, the next day the neighbors came by with an apology, *and* a plate of cholocate chip cookies (this is absolutely true) for me, as a peace offering, and they always leash their dog now. Better still, I got to meet the dog about 2 months later, and now he treats me like a friend---one more watchdog who watches out for the right people!Anyway, Adler's book was the key for me to understand neighbor psychology: communicate your respect for them and their ways, but also communicate in a non-threatening way what may happen if you feel you are in danger or are being harmed by their actions. And, I must say, the horror stories made me feel much less alone, and also grateful that I don't have worse problems than decent neighbors who bake cookies!

Bill Adler has always been a funny writer, and this book is no exception. He gives lots of real-life stories here. Once in a while, though, it feels a little as if he's making fun of the people involved- maybe a few fewer stories, and a few more techniques, would be a more effective tool.The solutions to various neighbor problems run the gamut from sneaky, underhanded tricks involving tape recorders, to assorted legal tactics. Mediation is mentioned in several cases, although not enough in my opinion. I am fortunate to live in a city with a Dispute Resolution Center where professional mediators handle all sorts of neighborhood problems and minor legal thingies; however, I guess not every town has one, so perhaps I can't take for granted that he should recommend everyone try mediation.The main point of this book, though, is to read the stories of all the horrible neighbors, and be glad they're not yours. If all you have is a slightly yappy dog next door, count yourself lucky. Enjoy the tales of encroaching plants, garbage, old cars, noise, parties, sunbathers, shade-tree mechanics, and downright psychotics. Make notes about what sort of resources there are. Adler names city and state departments and agencies you may not have known existed. He provides practical advice on how to document problems, and how to poll a neighborhood to bring people together to address a problem.Many of these stories can also serve as clear instructions on how NOT to get into a 20-year feud. One thing Adler does point out in a couple of places is that if you find a problem with a neighbor, but nobody else in the neighborhood agrees with you, maybe YOU are just too sensitive. It's unlikely that the people this is aimed at will realize it, sigh...

This book reviews a huge variety of problems which come up between neighbors. Most of these are documented as they became legal cases, so the facts are true.But in addition, the author does a good job winding through the stories with wit and a biting edge - helping us laugh at all the foibles and idiosyncracies of people. Usually we can find something we've seen or can identify with.A good read.

but I had to do something, my neighbors are so noisy... This book was really interesting and covered many problem areas, and there were stories about people with neighbor problems that sounded worse than mine! The focus was both on the problems and solutions, and many of the solutions were very good and also creative. I would highly recommend this book for anyone with neighbors.