Outgrowing the Pain: A Book for and about Adults Abused as Children

This simple, sensitive book is a wonderful introduction to those new to therapy and/or exploring their childhood histories of abuse. It is written for people of all backgrounds and thus is accessible to most. I've probably referred well over a hundred people to this book at some point in their therapy. Reactions have included "It doesn't apply to me", but were mostly along the lines of "I couldn't put it down - I kept reading and re-reading it." The beauty and power of it lies in it's simplicity. It's almost impossible to get lost in it intellectually - you have the space to "get it" emotionally.

I'm a psychologist in a college counseling center, and I frequently recommend this book to students who are just beginning to come to terms with a history of childhood abuse, whether it be physical, sexual, emotional, or even neglect. Although the book's illustrations are somewhat juvenille, the content is excellent, and the overall impression is non-threatening. It's a short, simple, easy-to-read book that would be a great first step for anyone who is ready to begin addressing these issues.

I encountered this book relatively early in my healing journey and it was a profound gift. I'd been completely unaware of early sexual abuse, yet struggling in ways that suggested something untoward had happened to me. This book opened my eyes at the same time it offered solace. My recovery has taken years and continues still. Along the way I read many books, earned a graduate degree in psychology, qualified for a license as a psychotherapist and did lots more personal therapy. Yet I remember with great fondness this tiny book that helped me open a door I was terrified to step through. I have a shelf full of books on recovering from sexual abuse, but this one will always hold a special place for me. For those pondering the question whether they were abused, this is a good place to begin. And please be gentle with yourself along the way.

I wasn't raped, molested, or physically abused. No bruises were ever noted; no authorities were ever called; relatives lived within a few miles. Life went on as "normal" and I thought I was just 'bad', weird, different, etc. We never talked about "IT" in our family - we pretended that "IT" didn't exist - that we all were in a wonderful, loving environment.But my father was alcoholic and committed suicide when I was a young adult; we share only 'surface' ("how's the weather?") closeness, I think both of my sisters have dealt with depression ... same with me, plus PTSD.If you ever wondered whether those 'never-go-away' feelings about your own childhood experiences are possibly indicative of childhood traumas, you gotta read this book. I've asked myself that very same question countless times (and virtually every time I just repeated what I was told about me 'you're just feeling sorry for yourself... you're just DIFFERENT!' (etc.). Maybe now, after reading (and re-reading - its so easy) this book I can start to acknowledge within myself that the Shit Did Happen, even if my 'family of origin' hasn't a clue....

A quick read...I couldn't put it down. Excellent book which help me understand my wife (and myself) better. It gives some useful "techinques" to improve communication on difficult topics. If you are at an impass in your relationship due to issues related to abuse, but you love the person deeply, this book can help you break through. Everyone's story is different, but you'll think its written just for you...good to know you're not alone. Abuse doesn't just effect the survivor!