Out of the Nightmare: Recovery from Depression and Suicidal Pain

As a suicide survivor I found this book very helpful to me. It has vital information also for families, friends and professionals who treat those with depression and suicide pain.

I found this a dense book and difficult to read (that may have been my depression, which makes it hard to think)AND WORTH PERSISTING WITH. Such a relief to find someone who understands and explains.THANK YOU David - this is the first book i have read that makes sense. So many ideas in this book here aresome of the gems -*You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.* He describes accurately a symptom that my doctors, and psychiatrist, have ignored. AND explains this symptom:- exhaustion -as being from the struggles with pain and trying to live when living is too hard. Now i dont have to feel guilty for sleeping "too much" anymore :).*he also explains why my drs are looking at me blankly when i ask for a rehabilitation team.... ingrained prejudice against the suicidal. (they cannot believe i might know what i need )*treatment of physical pain and illness / disability is important.* everyone who is depressed/suicidal is feeling that way for different reasons and will need different distress relief. (confirming my idea that i need a "rehab team" - and giving me ideas of how to start forming it)*there really is prejudice and fear about the suicidal - which explains so much about why i have had so much trouble getting help that HELPS.THANK YOU DAVID - i am not mad or bad or weak or even mentally ill, - i am in pain from many sources and i can relieve my pain bit by bit. (it is do able !!!)NOW i have realistic, concrete hope. this is the greatest gift.

Dr. David Conroy's Book "Out of the Nightmare - Recovery from Suicidal Pain" was the definitive source of "reason" for me, at a time when nothing made sense. The idea that people caught in suicidal pain could break out of their own hell to see some light by removing social stigma and aversion one piece at a time was as remarkable as it was refreshing. Now that I have this information, I can see through the accusations that the suicidal are manipulative, vengeful, aggressive people choosing between life and death like deciding which shoes to wear. That pain, be it physical or psychological, can be relieved through careful selection of coping resources. I agree that the book appears to attack mainstream psychology, and could be initially distressing to someone in suicidal pain, but the reader will quickly discover that the attacks are not about them but about the fears that drive society to such hostile aversion for those in pain. Once the reader realizes the absurdity of society's notion that "every human being has sufficient will power to tolerate any level of pain for any length of time" then the book takes on a new perspective. The author systematically addresses each pain, laying it bare and exposed for the myth that it is, and offers clear direction on how to remove their power of hopelessness and despair. It also provides excellent information about how to get the most from your psychologist meetings, and how to know when it's time to find better help. Suicide, for the majority of humanity, is not a solution with motives and goals that are ruthlessly pursued. Depression, driven by psychological pain, is not the cognitive thought process as so many "experts" try to model. There are no successes or failures when it comes to self-harming events. If you really want to find out what is driving the madness, this book will guide you into the nightmare head on, but won't let you go until you've reached the shore of life and recovery. As much as you want to reduce pain for life and love again, I recommend Dr. Conroy's guide as the ultimate processing session to supplement your medication(s). Be sure to take a highlighter along - by the time you've finished the book, I guarantee that 40% will be colored in!

We have a cultural mythology that oppresses the suicidal. The mythology adds to their pain, makes it harder for them to get help, and greatly contributes to suicide. Suicidal people suffer pain on more than one level: not only the emotional pain that makes them consider ending their lives, but pain that is unintentionally inflicted on them by well-meaning people who say terribly unhelpful things to them. "That's not enough to be suicidal about." "He only took 15 pills, he wasn't serious." "Anyone who tries to kill himself has got to be crazy." "I thought you were stronger than that." "You're just looking for attention." "Cheer up, it's a beautiful day." As if suicidal persons weren't feeling bad enough already, our thoughtless attitudes can cause them to feel guilt and shame, and keep them from getting help in time. Dr. Conroy blasts apart the myths of suicide, and looks at suicidal feelings from the inside, in a down to earth, non-judgmental way. This is a book that will save lives by washing away the stigma of suicide and opening the door to a real way out of the nightmare.Conroy ruthlessly debunks suicide myths: that it is volitional, that it is morally wrong, that the suicidal are weak and selfish. He helps us understand the fears of the suicidal - and our own fears that drive the stigma of suicide.The book is a pretty dense read. It requires patience because there are a lot of ideas packed into this book. If you are a suicidal person, read it in small bites; the ideas are so radical that they may send you reeling with relief. But you will know right away that the author understands, and doesn't blame you for what you are feeling. And you'll find out that there are people out there who really can help.

"Out of the Nightmare" is primarily responsible for my recovery from twenty years of suicidal pain. I have read many books on suicide, but David Conroy is the ONLY author who obviously understands first-hand what it feels like to be suicidal. He states: "Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain." That simple approach relieved me of the burden of guilt that most suicidal people feel about being suicidal, which exacerbates their pain. It helped me understand that by simply increasing my coping resources, and working on the individual sources of my pain, I could untangle the web of darkness that leads to suicidal feelings. Dr. Conroy understands the thoughts and fears of suicidal people, and offers a clear, non-judgmental, morally neutral path to recovery. Dr. Conroy also shows how many people - including therapists, counselors, and loved ones who intend to be helpful - often actually make a suicidal person's pain worse, and deter them from seeking help. He offers concrete suggestions from his vast experience for how to help a suicidal person, and empowers the suicidal with permission to resist the harm that is unwittingly inflicted on them. I am alive today because of this book. Many therapists and counselors have "theories" about suicide that were formed in classrooms and laboratories. David Conroy's approach was formed in the real world, and it's a real-world, practical approach to true relief from the nightmare of suicidal pain.