Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics: Lifestyles for Self-Discovery

I got Marsha Sinetar's book, 'Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics', when it first came out in the mid-80s. I had just had my first monastic experience as a visitor to a monastery, but was in no way interested in church and formal religion. However, I was interested in personal spiritual development, and Sinetar's book struck a very strong chord that resonated to the depths of my soul. She developed her ideas through case studies, both among her clientele and various subjects she sought to interview who took different paths toward this unique lifestyle. History holds many people who have 'gone it alone' in spiritual development, such as anchorites, stylites, desert hermits and the like. These people were connected to community and to larger ideas spiritually, but in many ways these people had an individual streak - this is the kind of thing represented in Sinetar's work. However, these people are not 'saints' or 'scholars' or religious figures - they are 'ordinary' people, working and living self-sufficient lives physically and spiritually. She uses the term 'self-actualising' to describe the type of person she means, and backs this up with some psychological and spiritual terminology and structure, but does not go overboard in this regard. Sinetar talks about people as monks and mystics, but concedes that many of the people she would describe as monks would never use that term applied to themselves, and have different ideas of what mysticism and mystical experience is than 'spiritual masters' of the past. However, there are keys similarities to the monastic temperament that she identifies in many people - self-sufficiency is but one quality; other qualities include stability, simplicity, and a sort of detachment from the cares of the world. In the mystical side, Sinetar looks at issues of transcendence and connectedness, which may seem at odds at first glance from the detachment of the monk, but in fact goes hand-in-hand with the idea. Sinetar does not tie this study to any particular religion - she draws on experiences and experts East and West, and works with general principles for lifestyles and practices. By and large, most of her subjects do not follow formal systems (Benedictine or Buddhist monastic traditions, for example), but rather rely on the self-taught or self-realised for their disciplines. Some engage in formal church/religious communities, and some don't. All seek self-fulfillment and a greater unity with the world, particularly the spiritual in the world. This is a really a how-to book, although the more advanced and disciplined reader will find applicable pieces in the text. There are many insights into personality and praxis that those familiar with spiritual disciplines will appreciate, although beginners might be a bit overwhelmed at times. This is a book I re-read on a periodic basis, and will continue to use throughout my life, as I seek my own wholeness and unity.

I found that this book "made sense" of my entire life, and I do agree the title is misleading. I gasped when I read a paragraph last night about the child who "survives" a schizophrenic parent. I have been in counseling for the past 45 years and no one could provide that "answer". The rest of the book speaks to me by giving me an understanding of the path I've chosen and for which I've been critized. She has a gift which she presents in this book to really understand the difficulties that individuals face when attempting a self-actualizing lifestyle.

Don't be misled by the title: this is a book about "living a self actualizing" life.It can be (and was for me) the catalysis for major, significant life style changes. It inspires one to have "the courage of your convictions" and to live one's inner truth in the daily round of life.

Dr. Sinetar begins with her best foot forward in this book: "My bias is this: ordinary people can and do become whole." A quote from another source comes to mind here as well: "Mystics aren't special kinds of people, all people are special kinds of mystics." Here, Sinetar deals with two of these people, the "mystic-type" and the "monk-type." These terms need some unpacking, and she does it beautifully. I cannot say enough about this insightful and unique book. I am one who discovered this volume after beginning the "pulling away/entering into" process, and found support, comfort, and rationale for both what I was doing and what was happening to me between its covers.The five stars are personal; not everyone can use the information in this book, for not everyone is called to these particular paths (though all are called to some path). Still, it does away with the elitism often found in spiritual books that says contemplation and intentional living is for the "special," the "chosen." As we know, all are "chosen" in this sense, and thus all are invited to a more intimate and personal relationship with the divine, with God. This book describes two of those "kinds" of people, those who simplify their lives externally so that the internal life can be made free and clean and whole, and those who enter ever more deeply into the heart of contemplation and mysticism (a much overused word these days) to encounter God as God self-reveals. Neither of these paths are chosen by everyone (and vice-versa), but those who do feel that tug should pick up this book, out of solidarity if nothing else.The title seems a bit fluffy, though, and I have found myself simultaneously recommending the book and apologizing for the title. I suppose that's what I am doing now, too. Buy it, read it, pass it on (mine will be the one with the cover worn off from use...)

In this fine book, Sinetar normalizes the experience of becoming psychologically whole. It asserts that Abraham Maslow's idea of self-actualization, the state of psychological wholeness or completeness, is our species' most natural state. That the process of integrating inner truth with lived experience is not the domain of the chosen few as conventional psychology has suggested. It is more ordinary than that.Sinetar conducted a nationwide survey of adults who have pulled away physically and/or perceptually from conventional life, to live their lives guided by the rhythmns of their inner wisdom. Two primary groups of self-actualizing adults were uncovered from this research. The social-transcendent, or monk type - those responding to an inner call to birth into their most authentic self. And the self-transcendent, or mystic type - those merging their personal psychology with their life's journey, to find their way back to the 'Absolute Reality' from which they believe they've come.In this eloquent, original work, Sinetar not only adds light to the field of spiritual psychology, but does so poignantly, through the words and experiences of those individuals whose lives have been documented for this book. These highlighted human journeys light the way for fellow travellers. They demonstrate that the humble and humbling task of living life guided from within is not only a path worth travelling, but the only truly satisfying one there is.In 'Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics', Sinetar skillfully and knowledgeably sheds light on a too often neglected dimension of the human experience, that of the self-actualizing adult - the monk and mystic in us all. This book will satisfy a reader's desire for a depth and breadth of understanding of this everyday human experience.Registered Clinical Counsellor, Certified Yoga Teacher