Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage

I really enjoyed the realness of this book. I felt understood and related to a lot of the pages of this book as someone who is married with children and is also open nice to read something similar to my experience.

"Open" is about open marriage, in case you were confused. The book, itself, is very good. It's got the issue of doing something like this down and really engaged me as the reader. It was nice to find something like this because it is so hard to come across these books. I think the author did an excellent and courageous job writing this one. It's a must read. Another good read that also explores this subject quite well is Playtime.

Jenny does a wonderful job of articulating seemingly every facet of the journey a person makes to open relationships. I wish everyone would read this book - even those that don't want to have an open relationship can at least come to a much better understanding of those that do. But for those that are "open" to the idea, this book presents a very compelling case for a higher-level of happiness, and is therapy for those needing help over personal hurdles.

This book is a revelation. It is a memoir of the author's life as a mainstream bisexual woman who, try as she might, couldn't find the kind of fairytale fulfillment promised by traditional marriage. She has a supportive husband and a young daughter who are the center of her life, as they should be. But still, there were issues in her marriage, the biggest one being that she and her husband have different needs in terms of frequency of lovemaking. She'd had relationships with women before marriage. She thought she could do without them when she decided to do what everyone thinks they are supposed to do and get married. Despite giving the traditional suburban wife and mother role a solid effort, it left her feeling so dissatisfied that something had to change or her marriage wouldn't survive. There is no book on polyamory and open relationships like this one. It takes tremendous courage for a mainstream woman to publicly lay her heart and soul bare as the author has here. She openly shares with us her most intimate thought processes and desires through every stage of her adult life, beginning with her experiences exploring her sexuality in college, up to and including details of her and her husband's challenges and experiences opening their marriage. I especially enjoyed the husband's afterword. The author is smart for including his perspective in his words to correct misperceptions that her husband and daughter are the innocent victims in all this. The husband makes it clear that he is a co-partner in this adventure, even though partnering with others is not as high a priority for him as it is for his wife. Another of this book's strengths is the author's point of view on how multi-partnering while raising her daughter is a good thing. It's pretty clear that she and her husband are good parents to begin with and that every decision they've made has been made with their daughter's best interests in mind. This author has a gift for eloquently articulating the issues and intricacies with which non-monogamists grapple. She cites a variety of sources to support her point of view. She also uses the word "polyamory" to describe her marriage and relationships, especially later in the book when her sexually open marriage naturally transitions to make room for love and romance with more than one. This book may well play a pivotal role in the mainstreaming of polyamory. It has gained the attention in three mainstream women's magazines. The June 2008 issues of Redbook, Marie Claire and Glamour all have interviews or shorter Q & A's with the author about her book and life. It is available on the non-fiction new release tables at Barnes & Noble and Borders. There is nothing more mainstream than that.

Jenny Block has done the unthinkable. She has ripped the mask off of the socially mandated "monogamous marriage" and said that maybe there is something else out there that works. I, personally, know of very few happy marriages. I know even fewer marriages in which one, if not both spouses, has not cheated. "Forsaking all others" is a really nice idea, but it isn't realistically, or biologically, sound. A marriage is many things, but can it be expected to be ALL things? Who doesn't long for that tingle that occurs only seconds before the first kiss? The excitement of a new crush? The rush of someone new and attractive who finds you irresistible? I am not saying that open marriage is for everyone, but personally, I think I would prefer an open marriage to a husband who lies to me and satisfies his desires on the side. The greatest compliment one can give a partner - a life partner, in all definitions - is honesty. Jenny loves her husband enough to give him that, 100 percent. Their boundaries are not static...they grow with one another, they change with one another, and they agree to agree on what is and isn't right for them. How in the world can that be considered something other than a loving marriage? This book has generated a great deal of criticism, and I feel it is completely unfounded. One woman is telling a tale of her life. She is not advocating her choices, nor is she condemning the choices of others. Her book is intelligent, well researched, and most of all, heartfelt. She is a woman, a wife, a mother, and a lover. And she is brave and unashamed. In this "evolved" society in which we live, Jenny Block should be celebrated.

Jenny Block`s book is an account of her open marriage, not an indictment against traditional marriage. The title Open serves to remind the readers to open their minds to the possibilities. Before anyone becomes indignant or unduly critical of this book, they would do well to reflect on their own unexamined lust and desires, as well as the level of spousal honesty and communication within their marriage. While some may be psychologically or emotionally unprepared to challenge their own engrained ideals about marriage, a stubborn fact abides, that most marriages end in divorce. By chronicling her path less traveled, Jenny Block reveals how a marriage was saved by opening it up. Society assumes the male to be hard-wired for straying. Ms. Block points out the irony of a culture that is permissive of male affairs from the White House to the next door neighbor, yet the word slut is preserved for women. Women may also have unfulfilled needs. Instead of sharing these licentious desires, we often ignore them and resent the significant other, or we make a Faustian bargain with ourselves, and cheat on our spouse rather than disclose our private needs. The psychotherapist, Nathaniel Brandon once wrote, that what we think and do in our private moments is still us (Psychology of Self Esteem, 1969). The revelation contained in Jenny Block's book is that marriage and openness are compatible, and perhaps the unmet needs of the partner may be addressed without fault or blame, and resolved while love is sustained and happiness attained. My own open marriage for eleven of thirteen years has been rewarded by a deeper mutual love and communication. While our love life together is fulfilling, my wife's capacity remains higher than mine. By mutual agreement I choose monogamy, and my wife may have other interests. We have rules, we respect each other, and anyone who knows us remarks on the closeness of our relationship. Open marriage is not for everyone, but in some cases it may save a marriage and add a much needed spark. I would have loved to have read this book eleven years ago when my wife and I were experimenting and learning about the concept on our own. I highly recommend this book for those who feel closed in their relationship, or are thinking about the mutual benefit of being open.