One Big Happy Family: 18 Writers Talk about Polyamory, Open Adoption, Mixed Marriage, Househusbandry, Single Motherhood, and Other Realities

As the daughter of African-American author Alice Walker and Jewish-American lawyer Mel Leventhal, Rebecca Walker lived through a decidedly unconventional childhood. As a result, she has searched for the true meaning of "family," only to find that the answer is different for everyone. In "One Big Happy Family," Walker collects the voices and stories of writers, such as Rebecca Barry, ZZ Packer, Min Jin Lee, Neal Pollack, and Dan Savage. Readers meet polyamorous, mixed-race, homosexual, and unwed couples, single mothers, stay-at-home fathers, and families that stretch to include in-laws, neighbors, birth mothers, adopted siblings, and, even, employees. The strength of these essays lies in their honesty, their unflinching look at the reality of modern family life, and, above all, their hope. Each writer documents, without sugarcoating, the difficulties they faced in the formation of their alternative family lives. In addition, with a couple of exceptions, the essayists in this volume refrain from a defensive stance, choosing instead to present their lives with sincerity. This anthology is not just a showcase for unconventional families. It is a message of hope for those of us who wish to form our own families in the spirit of freedom, honesty, and care. Reviewed by Katie Cappello

It is an honor to be part of this stellar collection with so many gifted, insightful writers! Rebecca has done a terrific job of painting a picture of how diverse love can be and how many, many ways there are of building happy, strong families. As a mom in a homeschooling, interfaith, open adoption, transracial family, this book really speaks to my experiences!

One Big Happy Family is a fascinating collection of essays about family. Part of what makes the essays so compelling is the fact that they force the reader to confront what well may be "the conspicuous other" in his or her own voice. That doesn't mean there will be a universal acceptance of all the myriad forms of family presented - quite the contrary. I am certain that many readers may be shocked at some of the family structures presented, which is fine. We need not approve or agree with all the ways our fellow citizens choose to create family, but it is important to hear their voices in the description of those creations. All too often we hear of families, not from the families' members, but from others describing them. These second and third- hand descriptions lend themselves to inaccuracies. Could someone else, even a well-meaning someone else describe your family as well as you or one of the other members? Get a copy of One Big Happy Family and read first-hand accounts on the enormous diversity of families-written by those families' members; it's a "must read" and I'm certain you'll be fascinated!

Finally there's a book out there for those of us who don't match the 1950's stereotypical family "norm." My partner and I are buying a copy for our parents who have never really understood or accepted our long-term relationship and decision to adopt. We are a 21st century family, and this is a 21st century book that will change your mind about what constitutes a family. Thanks Rebecca for once again leading the way - Black, White and Jewish was the start of my journey towards wholeness.

There is nothing more that the human animal longs for than acceptance. This can be hard to come by if you find yourself unable to march to the beat of the common drummer. I have long known that heterosexual, monogamous marriage was not for me. I have long admired families who have chosen their own roads over the ones they are shown. I have long wanted to hear of the stories of those who have found happiness and love not in following but instead in seeking. Finally those stories are here. That is what this book is all about. One Big Happy Family is about the pursuit of love and family and wholeness with a blind eye to social convention. These writers made me feel at home. They helped me to remember that there is no "right" way to live and to love. They reminded me that living honestly is always more important than living in chains. And they taught me that although others may not accept me, my acceptance of myself is far more gratifying. These are people who are present in their own lives, active in their own pursuits of love, and accountable for the paths they have chosen or crafted or discovered. We should all be so lucky. Read this book. Find your way.