On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone

More than likely, at some point in our lives, we are all going to find ourselves alone. Relationships fall apart. Children leave home. Our spouse passes. It's sad and rather scary when we enter a new phase of our life but what's really awful is the terror we put ourselves though. It's the new millennium. Women have secured the right to vote and work alongside men in most any job that suits their fancy. Yet, somehow we still see a woman without a man (and by association, children) in a negative light. No one even considers that this woman might not need (or want) a companion. That she might be complete by herself. That she might even be happy and fulfilled. Instead, the thought is that there must be something wrong with this woman if she can't catch a man. Moreover, we are so terrified about such judgments that we will do almost anything to have a man, even if he's the wrong man. On My Own relates stories of healing. Ordinary women who came to grips with being alone. People who learned to love themselves and enjoy their own company. The willingness to open to the possibilities that life has to offer.

One of the most profoundly true statements in this book is that "aloneness is an opportunity, a state brimming with potentiality..." I wish this inspirational book had been available when I was going through my alone times; it would have provided the extra inspiration and strength I needed. So glad it's available now. I may need it in the future. In the meantime, I'll be recommending it to my women clients and quoting from it in my next book. Florence Falk reminds us that each woman alone is a work of art in the making. Pamela D. Blair, author The Next Fifty Years: A Guide for Women at Mid-Life And Beyond

I have read many self-help books, including several relating to the single life. This book stands out for its singularly focused message: partnered or not, women benefit from cultivating a rich, vibrant inner world. This is a wonderful read for the literate woman, single or coupled. Falk pulls in a wealth of relevant writers and thinkers, from Rainer Maria Rilke to Virginia Woolf, always keeping the narrative driven toward the joys inherent in loving your own self, and keeping your own company. I cannot emphasize enough how important her smart message is: for all women, in all stages of relationships, to honor her inner self and to be independent and strong.

I'm a 25 year old single woman who lives alone, works, and goes to grad school. I was thoroughly captivated by this book, not only because of the writing, but because I realized more and more how essential this book is to every woman. Falk is right, most books exploit the insecurities of women, this book actually takes a different viewpoint and grounds its claims on reality. Instead of looking outward, it forces the reader to look inside. When you focus on yourself and improving yourself, the circumstances of your life improve. When you focus on trying to rationalize the behaviors of others, you neglect yourself and get farther away from your true self. There are times I feel alone and insecure and times and when those moments creep up, I tend to pick up this book and read it again and soon I realize, I had just simply lost sight.

On My Own is a revolutionary book. Florence Falk offers deep insight about the social and cultural frames that encourage women to see being alone as a "problem". Beautifully written, it traces, with true sensitivity, the many complex and often conflicting forces that 'contribute' to a woman's 'aloneness'. She boldly encourage us to shatter the paradigm, and reframes solitude as a positive state, a place of power, to be celebrated and explored with enthusiasm. Around this country, millions of women, single or deeply lonely in their relationships, wrestle with questions about the role and place of partnership in their lives. This remarkable book offers us a way to see our aloneness in a new way....helping us to celebrate our solitude as a state of liberation. It's hard to imagine a woman whose life would not be touched by reading this book. For many women, Falk's message will come as a key, unlocking a door they may never have known was even there.... and lives will change, forever. For some, perhaps, it will be revolutionary, and the change will come with great force. For others, it may be like a small stone, dropped into water, the rings rippling out gently, wider and wider... but either way, I am convinced, lives will transform. Give this book to a woman you know who is ready for freedom!