On Children and Death

I was leery about reading a book dealing with children and death. This book was sensitive to the issue and the personal stories contained inside were tear jerkers. I found the book to be extremely appropriate to the issue of children and dying. I would recommend this book to anyone who may have to go through this issue.

el tema de la vida y sobre todo de la muerte siempre me ha interesado.por eso pedi este libro, porque su autora es todo una experta en la materia. les recomiendo que lo lean; luego de esto tendran un punto de vista diferente sobre la muerte.

The death of a child is a horrific and heartrending moment in a parent's life, a time where no words can be used, because it is totally inexpressible. Yet, somehow, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross does find the words, and she does so by doggedly and mercifully examining children and death. By her own direct involvement as a thanatologist as well as through a series of letters by bereaved parents who have lost children by way of terminal illness, sudden death, murder or suicide, they open their hearts, and in the process of doing so, they reveal psychological and religious elements of their children, premonitions and preparatory acts before acknowledged death to an acute maturity and understanding of themselves and their situations. A role inversion-depending on the age level-frequently happenes, whereby the little patient becomes the comforter for their family who must temporally remain behind in the "cocoon," a most comforting euphemism indeed. Read the story of "Edou" in the segment, The Spiritual Aspects of Work with Dying Children for specific clarity. But what Kubler-Ross stresses is communication, getting the feelings out, not immediately mollifying the topsy-turvey senses with instant self-medication, for more-often-than-not, that can only compound the psychological stresses that can easily fracture with devistating repercussions, as is illustrsted with the examples at the beginning of the book. Also addressed in conjunction with communication and open dialogue is family involvement with the dying process, letting the siblings be exposed to their older or younger brother/sister's dying, unless they make it concretely evident that they are not emotionally ready for that step, which is perfectly fine and understandable. It is about pacing, self-acceptance and sympathetic exposure to what is for most of us a mind-numbing experience. But it does not have to be that way. And Kubler-Ross cites numerous examples throughout On Children and Death, instancing how the funeral industry is evolving for the better as well as humanistic/ holistic expressions via arts, crafts and musical aid in smoothing the rough edges of suffering and self-created mental torment. Yes, grief and unbelieveable pain will exist, but it does not have to dominate, for God is certainly in the equation, for He knows all, sees all and feels all, and Kubler-Ross, wonderfully, blatantly, lets that be known, for as a friend contributed to this volume: "To me, religions are like the spokes on a wheel; they all lead to the hub--at-oneness with God (P. 204). How true! How true!