Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides

I'm an American living in Japan, and though I have friends here, it has been difficult to find someone to discuss the ins and outs and minute details of my wedding with. It is so easy to lose yourself in all the wedding glitz and without my close friends here to act as mirrors, I felt myself slipping, forgetting who I am and what the real me would want for my wedding. Then I ordered this book. It instantly snapped me back to the reality of who I am and what I want. It gave me great ideas, inspired my creativity and most of all, it supported my offbeat-ness in a land that has only pretty recently considered western style weddings to be on-beat (making them THE thing to do). I know it sounds cheeseball, but seriously, this book is like having a good friend that I can tote around in my bag, when all of my good friends are across the planet.

This is the -BEST- wedding book I have come across since getting engaged. Written with a quirky sense of humor that's likely to make even the most stressed out brides giggle, it's helped me focus on getting what WE want from our party - not necessarily what's traditional or what everyone else expects/wants. Yes, you're normal if you haven't dreamed of your wedding day since you were four! My fiancé and I are planning a simple celebration at a botanical garden. We're trying to make it ecologically friendly, while being very budget-conscious (being just out of college!). There are more than a few books about eco-weddings out there, but most of the ones that I've read don't seem to focus much on low-cost green weddings. Offbeat Bride, while not focusing too much on the green aspect, does cover streamlining/simplifying/"green-ing" your party on a budget. I cannot recommend this book highly enough! I'm lending it to all of my engaged/soon-to-be-engaged friends. If you get one wedding book (for ideas or for planning), get THIS ONE.

this hee-larious, poignant, candid, awesome book is an absolute must for anyone needing inspiration and/or permission to go at their wedding the way they want with limited guilt from the usual suspects. when i crossed the line from "ultimate-vision-of-this-really-cool-thing-i-get-to-plan-and-be-the-star-of" to "reality-on-a-budget", it got intense: the guest list was becoming too large for the venue, my mom declared she would not drink out of the jelly jars we were planning to provide for libation receptacles, and one too many emails came from a bridal dress behemoth asking me to on come in and have a look at more poufy white dresses and, while supplies lasted, get a free heart pendant for the trip. (???) we thought the time between our christmas eve engagement and planning a july 2007 garden wedding at my folk's place would be a snap. catering business friends were found with relative ease; books were ordered; magazines were bought, cut up, and taped onto construction paper for inspiration; wedding shows dutifully attended; spreadsheets created; advice freely asked and given... and i found my spirit becoming thoroughly crushed--asking myself, "isn't this supposed to be fun? i've got the man with whom i want to spend the rest of my life, my party dress, and a photo booth rented, so what's with the rest of this? who cares about renting freakin' linens and coordinating table runners? and...is the yard too lumpy with too steep an incline to seat people on those rental chairs we looked at? quick! sequester the elders on the deck so they don't fall off the bluff and/or break a hip!" while too many well-intentioned wedding books sidestep the true purpose of a wedding, ariel brings back the humanity and the, "it takes a village" approach to this too oft commercialized, desensitizing industry. she focuses on the dearly loved communities two people are bringing together to celebrate this really awesome thing--AND have a party, look fabulous and gratefully accept gifts even though it can feel a little awkward for an offbeat couple. she provides her own wonderful chronicle alongside other brides' tales down the aisle, plus scads of great quick tips in each chapter. be prepared for copious amounts of f*-bombs dropped and particularly raw prose in some places--it's absolutely delicious. for me, much of the book's cred is based on her ability to put her cards on the table and demonstrate that she came out all the better for her offbeat efforts. she urges the reader to figure out what they want, budget for what's important (e.g. photographer) and improvise on the not-so-important (matching cups? nooo--muglies!). most importantly, she talks about the (mostly) ups and (some) downs of asking for the help of your peeps (alternately, knowing how/when to graciously put your foot down and say "no"), as this is an amazing way to 1.) get things done 2.) let new and unexpected things pop up in the midst of it all, and 3.) forge new and/or greater bonds with the peop

I picked this book up because Seal Press is known for its amazing, feminist literature and because I work in the wedding industry. While it's true-- as the other reviewer mentioned-- that it focuses on one woman's account of her wedding process, it was so helpful to see one real story through to its completion. There are plenty of helpful and inspiring tips thrown in, but the point of this book is not to be an instructional for planning an offbeat wedding (because that would be antithetical to its spirit) but instead to inspire you to think outside the wedding magazine, reach into your own life and your own experiences, and to craft an event that resonates deeply with you.